These are no longer "unprecedented times"


A man angrily shouting on the phone.

It has been a full calendar year since my office sent me home for the last time. A few weeks later, lockdown was announced. For years, the biggest lie from customer service call centres was "Your call is important to us!" Then, a few years ago, it became "Due to unusually high call volumes, it […]

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What I've learned from a year of lockdown


A graphic of a calendar showing the date "February 25 Sunday"

I expect everyone will be writing these pieces soon. So here's my cliché-ridden effort. I've found this year to be... liberating. I can stay up all night, knowing I can roll out of bed and be instantly at work. I can be as social as I like - and I can decline invitations if I'm […]

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Do you want to be friends with your courier?


Hi, I'm Local Courier I am your local courier, I like delivering parcels.

My life is an endless stream of courier deliveries right now. Welcome to lockdown life. Recently, I received an email saying that a driver had delivered a parcel. They'd dumped it on my porch without ringing the bell, then ran back to their vehicle. That's fair enough. These people are given hellishly ambitious targets and […]

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What do you miss the least from pre-lockdown life?


A row of toilet cubicles.

This was an excellent writing prompt from Janet: What do you miss the least from pre-lockdown life? I absolutely do not miss wandering around the office looking for a meeting room for a confidential call or if I hadn't managed to book a room in advance. Let's never return to that joyless frustration, hey? — […]

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Happy Birthday @Summerbeth!


Liz drinking from a Viking horn.

I started dating Liz - my now wife - one cold January back at university. We were young and disgustingly in love. This was it - 💕true love💕! And then, right in our honeymoon phase, she left to Australia for the summer holidays. We both wailed and made overly dramatic speeches about how we'd stay […]

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