Having sex is pretty good fun, isn't it? I enjoy it. I dare say you enjoy it. But, tell me, is it really appropriate for me to associate your products with having an erect penis? You see, being a heterosexual male, I'm biologically predisposed to be sexually stimulated by images and videos of women in various states of undress. When I'm sexually stimulated my penis has this tendency to experience a rush of blood, which makes the spongy tissues expand until the whole organ is fairly rigid. …
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My shelves are empty. The half-dozen Billy Bookcases I bought from Ikea are now little more than scrap. I have burned my books. A bonfire of ideas and ideals. My bookshelves used to burst at the seams. Every individual shelf bowed violently from the over-stuffed mass of paperbacks squeezed onto it. Shakespeare rubbed up with Straczinsky. A complete set of Terry Pratchett was enviously glowered at by a patchy Enid Blyton collection. Half-read oddities nestled with well worn volumes. A copy…
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It was a stroke of marketing genius to declare that the national dish of Britain was Chicken Tikka Masala. A dish almost totally devoid of Indian origin - but exotic enough to make us seem comfortable with multiculturalism. I like a good curry. Damn. Even the word curry is a generic Britishism designed to cover any spicy food from lands afar. Every Indian restaurant in the UK offers "The Most Authentic Cuisine". I know what I like - but I've no way to judge its authenticity. One of our…
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India is an explosion of colour. The food, the clothes, the temples. They all pulse like a rainbow. But not me. I'm white. Very white. More than that - I feel white and foreign. I feel out of place. The people I meet are friendly - but it's clear I don't really understand the culture, the way things work, or even how to cross the road. My first sight of a swastika shocked me. I know its origins, its special meaning here. But even daubed in multicolour paint on the side of a taxi was…
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There's a whole science dedicated to the universality of human expressions. Across vast continents and endless oceans, humans make the same face whether in a state of grief, joy, or disgust. More or less. The face of the Indian street vendor clearly said "Oh, FFS!" I had made the universal tourist mistake of paying for a cheap product with a ridiculously large bill. The bottle of mango juice I needed so desperately to cool down in the mad-dog sun came to 20 rupees. The smallest…
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No. (N.B. I work for a mobile advertiser - but this is my personal blog. This post isn't written on their behalf. Naturally I'm biased.) (N.B. I'm in India and jetlagged to hell - this may not make any sense!) Wild headlines abound - but very few people seem to have read the original Microsoft sponsored paper. The 75% claim is based on... one app, running on the very first Android hardware (Magic & Passion), not disclosed whether the phones were running Android 1.5 (what they…
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The heat. That all oppressive heat. Not that you'd ever notice it; you move from air-conditioned hotel, to air-conditioned taxi, to air-conditioned office. Yes, cars everywhere. A fifteen minute walk quickly turns into a twenty minute taxi ride. No one walks here - the streets are too crowded for that. Our hotel is hollowed out inside - very reminiscent of the Luxor. Same faux stone walls, unlimited buffet, and eager waiters. The UB City shopping mall may as well be the Venetian in Vegas. …
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Today was my first day in India. Bangalore, to be precise. The city is hot, noisy, full of dangerous drivers, cows on the road, and a disturbingly potholed pavement. I entered a modern looking mall. Partly out of tourist curiosity, mostly for the air conditioning! I saw something which shocked me. As I was coming down as escalator, I noticed a teenage boy stood at the bottom of the "up" escalator. He was surrounded by half-a-dozen elderly women. Relatives, I assume. While I couldn't…
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This is a review of the Y-Cam Knight SD. I previously reviewed the Y-Cam S in 2009. I got this camera for a 30% discount thanks to Y-Cam's social media team. Adjust your bias filters accordingly. Unboxing Linux Set Up To set the camera up, you need to use its internal webserver. So, how can you find out the IP address of the camera? Use the provided network cable to connect the camera to your router. If you have WINE installed, you can run the auto-run program on the provided…
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Wandering through London today, I noticed that Southbank London has put QR codes on its posters. I've mentioned before the dangers of using Bit.ly as a QR code generator - as it allows us to peek at the codes' performance statistics. Here are the codes on the posters - click for bigger. As all the codes use Bit.ly so we can see how well they've performed - click on each one for the latest statistics. Not the most impressive of campaigns. Three strong points to note…
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The Telegraph's headline screams "Christians have no right to wear cross at work, says Government"! Personally, I think it's good that the Government is standing up for secular values. I also like the cognitive dissonance which this case must be causing the right-wing as it seems to be about the religious right using the much derided "Human Rights!" Act. Whoever wins, they lose. What struck me was this statement from Andrea Williams, the director of the bullies at the Christian Legal…
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(Unlike most "open letters" this one was sent to my MP using the fantastic WriteToThem. I've added hyperlinks for context.) Dear Jonathan Lord, I want to thank you for highlighting the inadequacy of South West Trains service from Woking. As commuters for four years, my wife and I are sick and tired of trains which are overcrowded, frequently late, and often filthy. As the answer you received in Parliament shows, the private companies which provide train service in Woking are not looking…
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