Living the Stochastic Life
NaBloPoMo Satire (Probably) · 4 comments · 350 words · read ~278 times.
When I become Emperor Of The World, I will implement my favourite method of electing officials. The Single Stochastic Vote.
It's a cheap, simple, and quick way of electing people. It retains the best features of First Past The Post and Proportional Representation. Here's how it works:
- Everyone in the constituency votes for their most favoured candidate by marking an ☒ next to the candidate's name.
- All the votes are placed into a ballot box.
- The ballot box is shaken and stirred.
- A single ballot paper is drawn from the ballot box.
- Whoever's name has an ☒ next to it, is elected.
On average this will fairly reflect the will of the people. There is a bunch of research about why this is an excellent - but not perfect - system.
What other aspect of our lives would we give over to raw statistics?
If you were taken to court, we could dispense with a trial. We know the conviction rates for various crimes - so let's roll a couple of dice to see if you're found guilty. That would save a lot of time and money on court cases and - on average - would be just as fair as the traditional system.
Similarly, stochastism is a good way to eliminate the gender pay gap. Rather than messing around with work based performance assessments, collective bargaining, and individual negotiation - a company could randomly distribute its wage bill across the employees. Set a minimum and maximum amount an employee can receive, and then each month randomly allocate them a portion of that month's payout. Some months you'll get CEO level pay, other months receptionist pay. But, again, on average it will reduce discrimination on grounds or race or gender.
The benefits of the stochastic life are clear. It is quicker and cheaper than almost any other system. The results are guaranteed to be fair (across the population). And it is impossible to cheat or influence.
What's not to like?
Why you should attend the University of Luck
William says:
It’s been a long year. I feel very attacked on behalf on everyone reading this post. 😅
In your salary example - a reduced ability to plan finances. How do I plan to pay my mortgage when I might get the cleaners pay five months on the trot.
Also, what happens when these systems collide? Stochastic rent + stochastic pay is a recipe for weirdness.
Does Stochastic rent mean we'll live in Stochastic council houses? One month in a dingy bedsit, the next in Buckingham Palace
sam says:
"That would save a lot of time and money on court cases and – on average – would be just as fair as the traditional system"
It would convict the same number of people on average. But its only "as fair" if it is true that chance of conviction is completely uncorrelated to actual guilt. I'd hope that there is at least a little correlation.
For elections, I think you can do even better by choosing the representative for each constituency by random sortition. This means you parliament is (on average) representative of your population.