However, last week I received an unexpected email from Samsung:

This year you helped us secure Samsung mobile devices for our customers and would like to thank you for your contribution. As a small token of appreciation, we would like to send you the latest Samsung mobile device for your use or research.

Coo-eee! I watched as a DHL delivery made its way from Seoul to Leipzig to London to me. When it finally arrived it was robustly packaged...

How the hell do I open this? I don't a crowbar (mostly due to me not being a 19th century sailor)

Aha! I know!

"Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?"

"Because it's DULL, you twit. It'll hurt more."

And I don't have an axe either...

Fangs Danger - sharp bits. Now, what's in the box?

Another box! Just like a Matryoshka doll!

Yet another wooden box This one is slightly more exciting...

And not exactly made of wood... Hurrah!

Huge thanks to Samsung for this lovely gift - the harder the package is to crack, the sweeter the prize inside.

I don't want to carry a separate device, and I know I can't rely on will-power alone. So, I've been using Samsung's "Peak Schedule" feature for its Android phones.

I know I usually rag on Samsung for writing crappy replacement apps for Android - but in this case, their email offering is far superior to Google's default app.

Here's how Peak Schedule works: As you can see from the screenshot, my email gets pushed to me Monday - Friday 0900-1700. The second the clock ticks over the 5pm line, I stop receiving email. My phone doesn't buzz with a work message until I'm safely in the office.

To be clear, I can manually refresh my inbox and check my email if I need to. I am the master, not the slave.

At different jobs, I've set different schedules. If I'm taking the train, I have email waiting for me when I start my commute - rather than downloading it as I rush into London.

The option is hidden away somewhat, to get there, click

Email > Setting > Your Account Name > Sync Schedule

Sadly, this doesn't work in Gmail - so you can only use it with non-Google email providers.

Why? Why this silly limitation. This isn't 1974 - we're not exactly limited in memory. This limitation only appears on Samsung's Android phones - not on the Google calculator app. It would be interesting to see if it's a limitation in any other Android phones.

Video.

Of course, if you are unable to download a screen unlocker, this security vulnerability still allows you to dial any phone number and run any app!

HOWTO

1. From the lock screen, hit the emergency call button.
2. Dial a non-existent emergency services number - e.g. 0.
3. Press the green dial icon.
4. Dismiss the error message.
5. Press the phone's back button.
6. The app's screen will be briefly displayed.
7. This is just about long enough to interact with the app.
8. Using this, you can run and interact with any app / widget / settings menu.
9. You can also use this to launch the dialler.
10. From there, you can dial any phone number (one digit at a time) and place a phone call.
11. With Google Play, you can search for apps using the voice interface.
12. You can download apps from the app store which will disable the screen lock.

Impact

This does not occur on stock Android from Google. This flaw only seems to be present on Samsung's version of Android. I have only tested it on a Galaxy Note II running 4.1.2 - I believe it should work on Samsung Galaxy SIII. It may work on other devices from Samsung.

My test phone was running 4.1.2 with the Touchwiz launcher from Samsung.

Defending Against This Attack

Until Samsung release a patch, the only way this can be defended against is by completely removing the Samsung firmware and replacing it with a 3rd party ROM. This ROM for the Galaxy S III claims to have fixed the problem. I'm sure there will be ROMs for other Galaxy devices in due course.

UPDATE 2013-03-20T16:54:12+00:00

YouTube user "bicecream88" has alerted me to a way to partially defend against this attack. By disabling your screen animations, it is possible to reduce the amount of time the screen is displayed. Settings -> Developer Options -> Window animation scale -> off Repeat for Transition animation scale and Animator duration scale.

The vulnerability is still present - but you need to be a lot quicker in order to exploit it.

Responsible Disclosure

I reported this flaw to Samsung in late February. They are working on a patch which they assure me will be released shortly. I have delayed public disclosure of this vulnerability. I also asked if they wanted me to delay publication until a patch was ready - however they declined this offer.

If you discover a security issue with Samsung's mobile products, I strongly encourage you to email m.security AT samsung.com

They will provide their PGP public key if you wish to ensure your communications with them are secure.

Thanks

My thanks to Thang Chien of Vietnam, who first demonstrated a variant of this flaw in January.

Thanks also to David Rogers, Marc Rogers, Alec Muffett, and Glyn Wintle for their wisdom and advice around the subject of responsible disclosure. Any faults with this disclosure are mine and mine alone.

Video:

This attack works against Pattern Lock, PIN, Password, and Face Unlock. There is no way to secure your phone against your home screen being accessed.

Notes

HOWTO

1. Lock the device with a "secure" pattern, PIN, or password.
2. Activate the screen.
3. Press "Emergency Call".
4. Press the "ICE" button on the bottom left.
5. Hold down the physical home key for a few seconds and then release.
6. The phone's home screen will be displayed - briefly.
7. While the home screen is displayed, click on an app or a widget.
8. The app or widget will launch.
9. If the widget is "direct dial" the phone will start ringing.

Limited Scope

It's true, this attack is of limited value. That's one of the reasons why I've disclosed it.

Making a call relies on the phone having a direct dial widget on the home screen.

Running the apps is also of limited use - they go into the background immediately. If the app performs an action on launch (like recording from the microphone, switching on the flash, playing music, interacting with a server) that action will occur.

There is also the privacy concern that an attacker could see what apps you have installed on your homescreen - or see your calendar / emails if you use a widget which displays them.

Rapidly tapping the home button will - depending on your launcher - allow you to see what is on every home screen. Using an external video camera you should be able to clearly see all the user's calender & email widgets if they have enabled them.

Target

I've only tried this on one class of handset. Galaxy Note II N7100. Running 4.1.2 - the latest UK variant. The two devices both ran the stock launcher and lock screen. One device was rooted - the other was factory fresh.

I have not tested on any other devices.

Defending Yourself

This attack works against Pattern Lock, PIN, Password, and Face Unlock. There is no way to secure your phone against your home screen being accessed.

Your options are:

• Do not use direct dial widgets on your homescreen.
• Remove any calendar or email widgets which may show sensitive information from your homescreens.
• Ensure that any apps which you do have on your homescreens do not automatically cost you money or act maliciously when launched.
• Use an app locker to prompt for a password when apps are launched.
• Changing to a different launcher will not protect you.
• Using a 3rd party lock screen will not protect you if it accesses the emergency dialer.

Responsible Disclosure

Samsung don't have a dedicated responsible disclosure team. Nor do they offer a bug bounty. The nearest I've found is this unlisted email address.

Nico Golde

@iamnion

i don't find this anywhere publicly, but actually #samsung's mobile devision has a #security point of contact by now: m.security@samsung.com

---

I spoke to several external security people, and Samsung relationship managers within the industry, who have raised the issue directly with Samsung. I also tried emailing Samsung directly. I know that people within Samsung have been made aware of this bug.

Despite that, five days later, and Samsung's security team have not made any contact with me to discuss this bug or its disclosure.
I wonder if this is typical of Samsung's attitude towards their customers and the industry in general? Do they believe that if they ignore problems, they will disappear?

Conclusion

Samsung have a really poor record on Android security. Avoid purchasing their phones at all costs.

So, I ranted and raved on my blog and in the press. Samsung wouldn't respond to me - either through customer support or through their PR team. Nice way to treat a paying customer, guys!

There is an OTA update for the Galaxy Note II - taking it to 4.1.2. Sadly this isn't yet being pushed out via all UK carriers (including O2, who I work for).

As far as I can tell, the update does fix the bug. I've only been trying it for an hour - but it seems that copying no longer crashes the device.

There are a bunch of other minor changes which you can see in this video.

So, this is the fairly quick and simple way to upgrade your GN2.

Get The Firmware

The site SamFirmware lists just about every available firmware for Samsung devices.

According to them, this is the latest OTA for the GN2.

Caution! you have no way of knowing what that file does. It does not come from an official source. If it makes your phone explode, or fills it with state sponsored malware - that's just too bad.

I mean, would it kill Samsung to list their official firmwares on their site?

Stick the file on your phone

I used my microSD card. The file is over 1GB, so make sure you have plenty of room.

Upgrade

The easiest way to install ROMs on your phone is to use Mobile Odin. It's an Android app which takes care of all the hard work for you. Run it, point it at the update file, and off it goes. Costs less than £4 which is very reasonable.

Choose "Open File" and select the zip.

The app will ask you a few questions and then start the upgrade.

Pace up and down nervously

The whole process takes less than five minutes. But there's always a risk with something like this that it will spontaneously combust.

All being well, the phone will spring back to like with an upgraded OS and a clipboard that doesn't crash the entire phone.

I still don't understand why Samsung insist on treating their customers this way - but at least the issue is now fixed.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? If you copy and paste text more than 20 times, your phone will restart! Some people have reported more severe crashes than that - but for me it is only (!) a soft restart. This affects the Galaxy Note II, as well as the SIII and Note tablet. Other Samsung products may also be broken in this manner.

This has been reported to Samsung multiple times. Ever since Konrad Krakowiak, a Samsung Developer, acknowledged this bug on October 29th last year, the official message has been the same.

This bug was reported and I think that it will be resolved soon.

Typical Samsung. Sloppy engineering followed by complete indifference towards their customers.

How Does This Bug Occur

As part of Samsung's desire to "improve" Android, they've created a "Clipboard History" function. It's pretty nifty. It shows you the last 20 items you copied - be they text or images. The only downside is that it only works if you're using the default Samsung Keyboard. (For iOS users - keyboards on Android are apps. You can swap them out if you want a better or different keyboard).

If you don't use the Samsung Keyboard, items are still copied onto their clipboard - but you're unable to access them.

Once you have copied around 20 items, the phone throws this error:

java.lang.NullPointerException at android.content.ClipboardManager.setPrimaryClip(ClipboardManager.java:146)

And then restarts. See this video:

Work Around

There is a permanent fix. If you change the permissions on the /data/clipboard folder to read only, this bug cannot occur again. Do note - this will prevent you from copying anything.

A less drastic solution is this:

1. Root your phone.
2. Use a file manager to visit /data/clipboard
3. The folder should have lots of folders in it.
   
4. Select all the folders and delete them.
   
5. Repeat every time you've copied around 15 - 19 items.

It's a manual and cludgy process - but it will stop the reboots.

Screw You Samsung

You'd wonder how many times I'd keep getting burned by Samsung's atrocious attitude to its customers, wouldn't you? After they screwed me over with the original Samsung Galaxy S ("Oh yes, it will get an upgrade. Oh, no it won't; it's impossible. Oh, look, CyanogenMod have made it work.") I should have known better. They then pulled the exact same stunt with the Galaxy S II!

Then I found out that Samsung's engineering team are so poor, they let anyone spy on what your printer does!

I remember almost the very first thing the Note II did when I turned it on was crash!

I love the Note II's screen size - and the fact that it's one of the few Android phones to support BlueTooth AVRCP 1.3. But it's clear that Samsung couldn't give a damn about its customers. Once you've purchased one of their phones they seem to think that if they treat you like shit, you'll happily buy the next model.

You're biased because...

I work for Telefonica - but this blog is personal and does not represent the views of Telefonica, O2, or anyone other than me. O2 sold me the Note II (and sell many other fine phones).

And to stave off the inevitable...

You must be an Apple fanboi

Nope.

You must be a BlackBerry fanboi

Nope.

You must be a Windows 7 fanboi

Nope.

You must be a Sony fanboi

Nope.

You must be a Symbian fanboi

Nope.

You must be a...

Oh give it a rest! I'm an equal opportunity curmudgeon. I like Linux and generally favour Android, but I get pissed off at anyone who produces a shitty product and doesn't stand behind it.

Samsung - either up your game, or get off the pitch.

To be honest, I'd never even considered that as a possibility! In order to plug in USB peripherals to an Android device, you'll need a USB-OTG adapter (OTG stands for On The Go). One end plugs into your Android's charging port, the other end is just a regular USB port.

The total cost for a USB A 2.0 female to Micro USB B male Cable Adapter on Amazon? 70p.

Seventy pence. That includes the cost of shipping! Being the spendaholic that I am, I briskly ordered two!

I thought that these would be hideously expensive and, knowing Samsung, require some proprietary software or cabling. I was wrong!

I grabbed a USB hub, plugged in a spare keyboard and mouse, plugged them into the adapter, and shoved it into the phone. After a second to think about it, the Note popped up this screen.

Of course, Samsung have no concept of decent user communication. What they mean is that they've disabled SwiftKey - my default keyboard - and enabled the standard keyboard. As an aside, when you unplug the USB keyboard, the standard keyboard stays, you have to manually switch it to your preferred keyboard.

As you can see at the top, the mouse was automatically detected. A pointer icon appeared and I was able to click and scroll as much as I wanted. Right click didn't seem to work, and I couldn't find an easy way to remap the buttons of my Evoluent mouse - but at least it didn't spend ages looking for drivers like Windows does!

I found an old 256MB USB flash drive, as soon as I plugged it in, it auto mounted, and opened the default fie manager. Although, in typical Samsung quality, it opened to the wrong location. A quick dive back up the filesystem, and I was able to access it without issue. The drive was FAT32 formatted. I was able to read, create, and delete files without issue.

There is an MHL adapter - which lets you plug your Note II into an HDMI monitor. Due to Samsung's usual inability to support customers in a sensible manner there are multiple incompatible adapters floating around. The only seem to be about £15 online.

The only real downside, is that there's no way to charge your phone while using the USB peripherals. I could get a powered USB hub and see if it leaches power back into the device - the same way it does on a Raspberry Pi - but I'm rather afraid of blowing something up.

All in all, I'm mightily impressed. For less than a quid I can finally do long form typing on my phone.

The next challenge - can I hook it up to my MakeyMakey?

So, time to put the Samsung Galaxy Note II through its paces. I've had the phone for a couple of months and been really pleased with it. But I sensed that I hadn't really used it in anger. I decided to spend the whole day trying to do my work only using the GN2. And, to make the challenge more exciting - no recharges!

Let's kick things off!

To help with my blogging, I used the official WordPress for Android app. It's pretty good, but a bit fiddly to add photos and formatting. Good if you're posting a quick update or just a single media item.

First thing's first, I knocked on the power saving mode. I didn't want the battery to conk out half way through the day. I attached to WiFi and made sure the radio was in GSM mode - no need for 3G. As I wasn't going to be playing videos or 3D games, I was quite happy to dial the CPU down.

I'd already killed or uninstalled the crap-ware which Samsung shovels on to their phones - so I didn't have many background processes running.

One thing I will say about the GN2 is that it is as stable as any phone I've ever used. Mine has been running solidly for over a month without being restarted. It's still just as smooth and fast as when I first turned it on.

For all the typing I do in my day-to-day work, nothing beats SwiftKey. Its predictive text is uncanny - making typing spectacularly efficient. I wish I had it for my desktop.

I often need to SSH into Linux boxes to fiddle with them. Enter ConnectBot - a rock solid SSH program. Works well over 3G and even copes with 2G. I can even set up shortcuts on my homescreen for specific servers.

Before I knew it, I'd been working for an hour and a half. Time to check the battery stats.

Ten percent gone. I didn't have the screen on constantly, but I was using it more than usual. Conservatively, that's 15 hours of battery life when using the phone fairly solidly.

The day wouldn't be complete without reading and writing too much email! The GN2's Outlook email client is really poor. It flickers horribly, scrolling is jerky, and it doesn't do server-side searching very well (which, to be fair, may be our IT setup). That said, the landscape mode is really useful. It also has "Do Not Disturb" hours - so I don't get any work email alerts after 1700 or before 0900.

Come lunchtime and I'd been using the phone for a couple of voice calls - weird, I know! I'd spent around 45 minutes talking on the phone - it's pretty clear that has a big impact on the battery. But, still, two-thirds of the battery left. Nice!

For getting files on and off remote machines, I used Turbo Client - FTP/SCP. Not the greatest interface in the world, but very fast at shifting files to and from my GN2.

Samsung gives every purchaser of the GN2 48GB of free DropBox space. That meant I was able to access all my work documents from The Clown.

Editing them was a bit trickier. Reading and writing Word Documents is a bit of a chore - even with Office Suite Pro 6. Luckily, I don't have to work with Excel spreadsheets. It was tolerable, but not especially pleasant..

I couldn't get on to the work Intranet (although I suppose I could have installed a VPN if I was desperate) but I was able to access some internal tools like Yammer and chat with the team on IRC.

I got to the end of the day, with all my emails answered, files edited, and phone calls made. But how did the phone do?

A full eight hour day with - as you can see - the phone in fairly constant use. With 50% battery to spare I could do another full day without a recharge!

Caveats

The day wasn't without problems - some are Samsung's problem, some are mine.

I couldn't find a decent code editor. Luckily I could get away with a day without slinging code. I tried DroidEdit which some people rave about, but I didn't get on with.

Flipping back and forth between the web and email is a bit of a pain, and I found copying and pasting to be a hit-and-miss affair. It mostly worked, but occasionally seemed to skip a character which I could have sworn I selected.

I was able to get the split-screen functionality working - but it really is of limited use. For watching a video and reading the web it's fine.

For anything else, not so good.

Once the keyboard is open, it obliterates half the screen - so is useless in that scenario.

Chrome as a browser is excellent - it coped well with every page I threw at it. A few web pages which weren't optimised for touch were tricky to use. Those that rely on hovering a mouse over a link to reveal a menu didn't work so well.

Samsung's software is fairly crappy. I had to replace their atrocious "TouchWiz" interface with HoloLauncher which is far less cartoony.

Worse than that, the Samsung software is terribly unstable. On first boot, I was constantly plagued by their CloudAgent crashing. In the end, I disabled 27 pieces of pre-installed rubbish which Samsung had unilaterally decided their customer would want. All of which seemed to run in the background sucking up RAM and battery life.

I also killed some default Google processes - such as their movie service and Google Plus.

The much vaunted "S-Pen" is pretty useless. It's very sensitive, which makes drawing a pain as it thinks the pen is on the screen when it's hovering a few centimetres above. Worst of all, the pen can be used to navigate on screen but doesn't work on the physical buttons below the screen. That's incredibly annoying if you're trying to navigate solely with the S-Pen and then have to switch to your fingers to pull up a menu or go back a page.

In terms of hardware, the Galaxy Note 2 is second to none. For battery life alone, it beats all other devices. The screen is gorgeous - going back to a Galaxy Nexus or, worse, an iPhone is painful. It's like surfing the web while looking through a postage stamp.

What lets down Samsung again and again is their software. TouchWiz is slow and ugly, their default services crash repeatedly, the bloatware is poorly thought through (why do I need multiple app stores with duplicate content?), and their custom user interface is replete with poorly translated English. And don't get me started on the abomination which is Kies - their half-arsed media manager which doesn't work in Linux.

Samsung - please stop trying to write software! Your hardware is excellent and compliments Android perfectly.

Despite Samsung's best efforts, the Galaxy Note 2 is a superb device. The screen is big enough to type on comfortably for long periods, the battery is a real work horse, and the app ecosystem is strong enough to cope with a wide variety of tasks.

[The] Xerox 914 copy machine [...] was used in soviet embassies all over the world. The machine was so complex that the CIA used a tiny camera designed by Zoppoth to capture documents copied on the machine by the soviets and retrieved them using a "Xerox repairman" right under the eyes of soviet security.

Xerox Helped Win The Cold War

And

Samsung printers (as well as some Dell printers manufactured by Samsung) contain a hardcoded SNMP full read-write community string that remains active even when SNMP is disabled in the printer management utility.

A remote, unauthenticated attacker could access an affected device with administrative privileges. Secondary impacts include: the ability to make changes to the device configuration, access to sensitive information (e.g., device and network information, credentials, and information passed to the printer), and the ability to leverage further attacks through arbitrary code execution.

Samsung Printer firmware contains a backdoor administrator account

There's no evidence that Samsung are working on behalf of the security services.

This could just be a snafu like the constant SCADA security bugs. The same bugs which were allegedly used to cripple Iran's alleged nuclear ambitions with Stuxnet.

Are Samsung viewing all your print outs and forwarding them to South Korea's Security Services? I honestly don't know. You don't know. No one knows!

This is one of the reasons that Open Source software is so important - especially for appliance-like devices.

Could your Samsung TV have a vulnerability that will let anyone see what you're watching? Or could the integrated camera start to watch you? Does your Samsung phone have spy code which forwards your information to a third party? Or does your Samsung phone let any application access your private information?

Open Source Software is far from perfect. But without being able to check the code which runs on our appliances, we're at the mercy of "professionals" who fail again and again.

Even the most trivial device could have a significant impact - what happens if your Internet Fridge has a bug, mistakes your chicken for Halal, and then secretly reports your dietary preferences to the security services?

The first freedom of software is the freedom to study how the program works, and change it so it does your computing as you wish.

I'm not paranoid. The vital services which run our lives have bugs. Some are intentional, some are not. We must be able to check for the presence of these vulnerabilities and correct them when their supplier are unable or unwilling to do so.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Prediction*: iPhone5 & Samsung Galaxy S 3 to have IDENTICAL hardware. Battle of the OS / ecosystems!

*Well, wishful thinking!

---

Wouldn't it be great if there was a proper show-down between the two major players? You could really compare which OS was best given the same hardware. Is iOS's camera software better than Android's when given the same lens and CCD? Which runs faster when CPU, GPU, and memory are identical?

According to WP-Life, Samsung's Galaxy S III will run both Android and Windows Phone 7!

Judging by the article, there will be some cosmetic changes - but the basic hardware will be the same.

What a show that will be! I think WP7 is a beautiful but flawed OS. Android is powerful, but struggles on anything less than excellent hardware.

One day - one glorious day! - we may see hardware which will accept any software. Imagine, just like a PC, being able to buy the hardware and then choose which OS you want on it. I've written about porting Android to Nokia hardware, and I run Ubuntu on my MacBook Pro.

A true ecosystem involves freedom to move between platforms without artificial restrictions.

Over to Ben Smith:

... a frequent complaint is that we don’t want thinner phones. We’d rather manufacturers used space savings to provide larger batteries. You know… ones that last more than a day like they used to.

Wireless Worker

Damn straight! Do I care if my phone is a bit thicker if it means I can go all day without a charge? No. No I do not.

My Samsung Galaxy S barely gets half a day of "real" use. I tend to browse the web for an hour while commuting, listen to music over BlueTooth, make a few calls and texts, FourSquare, and take a few photos. Come lunchtime the phone is whimpering in the corner just begging to be plugged into a USB socket. So, I either have to keep my phone sucking at the teat of my laptop, or severely curtail my usage. Unacceptable.

So, I bought myself an extended battery for the SGS. Specifically, the CostMad Samsung Galaxy S i9000 3500mAh Extreme Extended High Capacity Quality Spare Replacement Backup Battery with Battery Back Rear Cover Case. Quite a mouthful, but here's how the wee beastie looks:

Total cost? £9. Less than a tenner from some random factory in the Far East.

Now, the first thing that you'll notice is that the battery is so massive that it requires a new backplate. It bulks up the phone, but does have some advantages.

It feels heftier. The weight isn't very different from the original, but it feels more solid. The slippery and flimsy backplate is replaced by a rubberised and solid case which fits snuggly.

I let the battery charge while the phone was off. Once done, I proceeded to use it as normal. At the end of the day, this was the result.

Whoa! 8 hours of, if anything, heavier than usual use and I'm still have over half of my battery power available.

So, I went home, browsed the web, watched some YouTube, played some games, and generally tried to force the battery into submission.

By this time my regular battery would have been dead and buried, but this one just kept going!

Get One Now!

I could never buy a phone with a non-removable battery unless I was sure that it was of sufficient capacity to keep me going throughout the day. Sure, you can buy portable chargers, solar chargers, even hand cranked chargers - but that's just a stop-gap as far as I am concerned.

I could keep my phone plugged in - but that rather defeats the purpose of a "mobile" phone. As I head off to Mobile World Congress, a battery like this is a must.

Some Notes On Testing

• I'm running a beta build of ICS. That may not be particularly well optimised.
• I keep my screen brightness on lowest rather than auto.
• I'm usually in WiFi coverage.
• I have push notifications for Gmail and Exchange set on.

I think I'm turning into a Luddite. I see all these shiny tablets and... I just don't want one!

Don't get me wrong, I drove myself crazy trying to get an HP TouchPad because a) Massive discount and b) under a hundred quid.

You see, everyone I know with a tablet has one of two accessories.

1. A bluetooth keyboard. Because it's really hard to do any sustained typing on a touch-screen.
2. A dock. Because it's really hard to do any sustained typing on a touch-screen.

You see, I like to use my computer. Tablets are perfect for a consumer who wants to see pretty lights and occasionally prod at a large target with their fat, sweaty thumb. But that's not me. I want to type, to blog, to code, to comment, to design. I want a laptop. And, indeed, that's what I have.

If I want to do something passive, I'll watch TV. Or my laptop screen. Or my phone. If I want to read, I'll use an e-ink screen. My Kindle is lighter and has better readability than any tablet.

Why do I need another expensive device? Especially one I can't create on?

Oh, and don't tell me about the camera on these devices - does this look anything other than ridiculous?

So, Samsung have released the Galaxy Tab 10.1 - see Samsung's YouTube Channel to see it in action - and once again I have gadget lust. It's big, shiny, runs Android (and will run even better when Cyanogen is ported to it).

But once more, I shall have to turn it down. It's lovely, I'm sure, but just not for me.

To help me justify my descision to forgoe this beautiful fondleslab, here are the top three worst things about the Galaxy Tab.

1. Non-standard charger. It uses some awful "media port" rather than micro-USB. (Note: it's not even PDMI
2. No USB OTG - so I can't use a keyboard, mouse, or external drive with it. Well, I can, but I have to shell out for a dongle that I'll invariably lose.
3. No external storage - so if I want to take a bunch of movies and music with me on a trip, I'm limited to internal storage.

You can gaze at Samsung's FaceBook page but it won't improve things.

Am I crazy? Is there any reason to own a tab if I've already got a (great) Samsung Android phone and an (awesome) ThinkPad running Ubuntu?

What on Earth do you people do with a tablet that I'm missing out on?

Samsung Galaxy S

The Galaxy S is Samsung's latest Android handset.  There are so many Android phones out there that you need a really great advertising campaign (or a really great product) to stand out from the competition.

Let's take a look at the Samsung campaign.

Small Isn't Beautiful

Advert for GalaxyS on Guardian Mobile site

The advert is disproportionately small compared to the rest of the site.  The Android phone I'm viewing on has a screen width of 480 pixels - the advert looks tiny and pathetic.

At first I thought it was the Guardian mangling the advert - but a look at the URL http://images.mpression.net/image/11251/galaxy_banner168x28_v2.gif shows that 4th Screen have decided to serve up a 168*28 image.

Tiny Banner Ad

Worse than that, they've blindly resized the image rather than rework it.  Take a look zoomed in - the text is illegible.

Tiny Banner Ad

The Micro-Site

The site behind the advert isn't too bad.  But there's nothing exciting about it.  Just a series of static pages.  You can visit it at galaxys.co.uk/

What Do You Want Your Customers To Do?

With every mobile advertising campaign, you need to think about what it is you want to accomplish.  This campaign is, presumably, designed to encourage people to buy the Samsung Galaxy S phone.  So, it would make sense if people could buy the phone from the site. No?

Try to buy the phone from this page

There are three glaring mistakes on this page.  Can you spot them?

1. No mention of price. Is this pre-pay or contract? Is this a premium product or a cheap and cheerful device?
2. No click-to-call.  Those phone numbers should be clickable and should take the customer straight through to the dedicated Galaxy S representatives.
3. Those images of the phone company logos are clickable - yet there's nothing to suggest they are.

Still, clicking on those logos will let me buy the phone through a mobile-friendly shop. Right?

Mobile Companies Who Don't Do Mobile

eTailing is hard.  Getting a web based shop up, running and profitable is tricky.  Getting a mobile version of that site can be even harder.  But if there were ever a company to do it well, you would expect them to be a mobile company.  Sadly, that's not the case.

Vodafone's non-mobile website

Virgin's non-mobile site

So, our hapless user can't use her phone to make a call to buy the handset, she can't use the web browser to buy the handset.  Is she supposed to wander down to her local store to buy one? Way to make use of the mobile medium...

How To Fix It

All is not lost.  There are several easy steps which can be taken to fix this disaster.

• Serve up adverts which are correctly sized for the screen requesting them.
• Don't resize adverts - create a unique advert for each screen size you're targeting.
• Make you micro-site interesting. Add mobile YouTube videos.  Add wallpapers, ringtones, or competitions.  Give people a reason to visit the site and share it with their friends.
• Click To Call.  I don't know how often I have to say this, but if your potential customers can't place an order from your site - you will never convert them into a paying customer.
• Let the user know which parts of your site are clickable.
• Never redirect a user to a non-mobile website.  The user may have to pay the data charges and will get a site which they can't use.
• Mobile e-tailing.  Three huge names in mobile - yet I can't order this phone from my mobile. That's just embarrassing. Either make a mobile friendly site, or give customers directions to their nearest store.