Beatles Rock Band

When I was a child of six or seven, a kindly Aunt bought me an orange-plastic recorder. I'd never previously shown the slightest interest in music - but I loved that recorder. I joined the school's music lessons, I performed for my parents, I even tried to learn what a treble cleft was and what those splodges on a stave meant.

Then, one day, I lost my recorder. I was gutted. I was a messy child, always losing things. I never found where it went to and so my dreams of musical super-stardom fell by the wayside.

Well, I say I never found it. Many years later when moving house I stumbled across it. Hidden at the back of my parents' wardrobe under a pile of my father's old flares. How could it have ended up there?

"We hid it from you," said my mother. "You made such an awful racket," said my father.

And it was true. What I lacked in talent I made up in volume. I was very loud and twice as tuneless.

It wasn't confined to musical instruments either. During the Christmas play at school I was singled out by the music teacher and asked to mime.  In short, my musical talents are somewhat below those of a Cheeky Girl.

All of which leads me to...

"Beatles Rock Band" on the Wii.

The number one criticism I hear about Rock Band, Guitar Hero and their ilk is that players should dedicate their time learning a real instrument. Spend a few hours a week strumming a cheap acoustic, thumping some drums or tickling the ivories. Kids should be playing real instruments and writing their own songs - not mashing buttons on a plastic controller.

Well, I've got news for you. Hendrix himself could rise from the grave and give me personal tuition from now until the Olympics and I'd still be stuck on "Three Blind Mice". Even if he miraculously worked my fingers into a frenzy, there's no way I could convince 55,000 screaming teenagers to watch me play Shea Stadium.

Some video games simulate piloting a jet, or Kung Fu fighting, or driving a Formula 1 car. Some even let you simulate life. Beatles Rock Band lets you experience life as the world's greatest band.

How could I resist?

I'd never played a Guitar Hero style game before. I only really knew them through South Park's stunning satire of them.  So I was more than a little apprehensive about buying the game - especially given the cost.

Cost

BRB comes in three flavours

1. Game Only - this is the cheapest and assumes you've got instruments from a previous Rock Band game
2. Value Edition - the game and a generic guitar, drum kit and microphone
3. Premium Bundle - as the value edition, but the instruments are Beatles branded and comes with a microphone stand.  About twice the price of the Value Pack.

As much as I love the Beatles, I don't need to have a replica Hoffner Bass - so I went for the middle option.  We invited a bunch of friends around, had some booze then decided to try one song to see what it was like.

I've Got Blisters On My Fingers

You know the morning after you first got your Wii how sore your arms were?  All that flailing around with the controllers?  That's how my throat feels this morning.  One song lead to another which lead to a battle-of-the-bands showdown. I was pounding the drums like a demented gibbon while our chanteuse vainly tried to carry a tune, one brave fool placed the guitar behind his head playing his solos Hendrix style.

I don't think I've ever had so much fun with a video game.  My body is paying for it this morning.

Don't Let Me Down

£90 is a fair whack to pay for a video game - even if the instruments can be used with other games.  I'm sure it would have been cheaper to buy the disc separately, then get 3rd party controllers.  But I really can't fault the build quality and ease of set up.  It even comes with a 4 port USB hub so you can plug everything in.

There's only one real downsite to the game. You think Ringo is a naff singer? Until you've heard me and my friends drunkenly carousing to Twist And Shout, you ain't heard nothing yet!

Beatles Rock Band is pure, joyous fun. The visuals are stunning, the music is sublime and the crowd will go wild even if you're a tone-deaf, rhythmically-challenged bozo with the musical ability of a drunken elephant. What more could you want?