My employer encourages employees to have "career conversations" with their line manager. And I hate it. I don't resent them for making me participate, and it's probably good for me to engage in a little introspection. But that doesn't mean I can't whine like a petulant toddler.

Since my dreams of being the first astronaut to win an Oscar® crumbled to dust, I haven't known what I want out of my professional life. I am a complete career magpie, going "Oooh! Shiny!" and hopping jobs to the next fun thing.

For the last five years, I've been at the same grade at work. I haven't been doing the same job - I've transferred teams and departments multiple times. I've also - to my surprise - received a few pay-rises. I'm far too British to discuss my actual salary - but it is good. Not quite as good as if I were working in the private sector - but I get a decent pension, generous holidays, and reasonable job security.

I'm now at the point where I face several challenges to moving up to the next grade.

My pay - G7 DDaT Technology Specialist Architect Accomplished B - now exceeds the standard pay for the next grade up and, in some cases, the grade after that. Which means either taking a pay cut, or trying to find a department which has the budget to go beyond the standard pay scales. Last year I turned down a job at a higher grade because they were reluctant to even match what I was currently on. The same pay for more responsibility? Yeah, nah. Which brings me on to the next issue…

My management ambitions - I have none. I've been a team leader and line manager and I didn't enjoy either experience. And, crucially, I don't think I was particularly good at it. People deserve managers who are interested in people and their development. That's not me - and I have no desire to either fake it, or learn to do it better. All of the jobs I've seen at the next grade up require people management.

My workload - I like having a life. I work my hours and finish on time. I occasionally have an out-of-hours call, but that's rare. I've done jobs where I flew all over the world at short notice. It's fun for a while, but not something I'm looking for any more. My job is sometimes stressful, but work are good at making sure I'm looking after myself. And it's tempered by knowing what I'm working on matters. Which leads on to…

My impact - maybe I'm naïve, but I believe in the transformative power of the state's technological offering. Would I get that satisfaction from helping make shareholders a little richer? Or fiddling around with a niche product? I only have a limited time on Earth and I've like to work on something that I consider important. I know that I could go work at a hedge-fund and donate my outsized salary to charity - but I want to help practically.

My risk tolerance - a little while ago I held discussions with a cool start-up to be their CTO. It didn't work out for a variety of reasons. But one of the big ones was my attitude to risk. Do I want to gamble that the thing I work on will get acquired by Zuck? Even if I lucked out, would it materially change my life? I try to stay off the hedonic treadmill. But I already own all the houses, toys, and private jets that I want. The upside of a massive risk doesn't seem particularly attractive to me right now.

In short, I've reached a local maxima. The only journey from here appears to be downwards. Either a cut in salary or in quality of life. If I make it through that valley, the upside is… what exactly? It feels like that old joke about the MBA who tells a casual fisherman to spend his life building an empire just so that he can spend his retirement fishing on the lake.

Now What?

I have some longer term plans which hopefully kick in around the year 2030. But the gap between now and then seems a mystery. Here's my rough idea of what's going to happen next.

By the new year, I should have finished my MSc. That will help me determine if I want to do a Professional Doctorate or similar at some point in the future.

I'll have completed a full year in my new job. That will be enough time to know if I want to continue doing it for a bit longer, or whether I'll start casting my eye around.

And then… I don't know. I guess my choices are:

1. Stay where I am.
2. Find another Civil Service job - either more interesting or better paid but with a similar work/life balance.
3. Take a risk and go work for myself (doing what?!) or for someone else (who?!)
4. Start a new course of study and, maybe, convince work to fund it.

And, you know what? I'm happy with not planning. Sure, I might see the perfect job which I'm not qualified for. In which case, I'll look at how I get qualified.

The world isn't short on opportunities.

She was incredibly frustrated that all of the training courses and women's networks she had found were fixated on her becoming a manager, an executive, or a CEO. We were both in agreement that our industry needs diverse representation at all levels - but that doesn't mean that everyone wants to reach those levels.

In her case, she was loving work and loving life. She had great work/life balance, a partner happy to help with childcare, and was part of a fun project. Why should she disrupt all that by trying to climb the greasy pole? This wasn't a question of having less time for herself or her family - her employers are famously supportive - but simply a disconnect between what she wanted and what she was expected to want.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a good education must be in want of a management position.

Jane Austen's "Lean In and Lean Out Again"

This is a dilemma with which I've also struggled. A few years ago I took an "Introduction To Line Management" course put on by my employers. In it I learned...

• How to discipline an employee who made a racist comment to a customer.
• Telling an employee that you need to cancel their holiday.
• Dealing with complaints between your staff.
• Year End Reviews.
• Putting people on Performance Improvement Plans.
• Budgeting for bonuses.
• Processing sick leave and ensuring it isn't being abused.

And on and on it went. An endless parade of minor tragedies which can befall a modern workplace. Don't get me wrong - all of those skills are important - but it's nothing I want to be responsible for on a daily basis. I want to build, create, discover, improve - I don't want to grouse at people who haven't filled in their timesheets properly or spend days crafting PowerPoints for a budget meeting.

At the end of the course, a bunch of us asked a simple question - "OK, those are the horror stories - but what are the good things about being a manager?"

There wasn't a real answer. A bit more kudos and a small pay rise, that's about it.

I value my time more than the prestige of being a manager. While I'm happy to perform services in exchange for currency - the pay rise associated with more senior positions doesn't offset the cost to my mental health.

I'm lucky in that I've rarely had a bad manager. But their skillset and mine are very different. I also think that their attitude to work is vastly different to mine.

Reading this excellent article by Julie Zhuo - "Unintuitive Things I’ve Learned about Management" - has lead me to conclude that perhaps I'm just not interested enough in people to become a good manager.

I remember having a conversation with a manager several years ago. She asked why I didn't want to go into management. The only coherent reason I could give was that I didn't want to spend my days telling people what to do. I'm not a natural leader and, if I'm honest, would be slightly distrustful of those who chose to follow me.

She really couldn't understand what I found so distasteful. Part of the problem is that our culture glorifies leaders. Would I really want to be Mark Zuckerberg? Sure, I'd like the money - but I'm not sure I'd cope with the endless pressure from investors, constant media attention, or fanatical users. I'm not sure the game is worth the candle.

Returning to the woman I was mentoring; I encouraged her to take every opportunity that her networks afforded her. Take a class on management training, or budgeting, or whatever. Have it as a skill in your back pocket for if you need it. At the very least, you'll be able to understand what motivates your manager.

But it's OK to refuse a kingly crown.

I try to champion diversity at all levels. And if the barriers to your success are external you should smash them down!

But if the barriers to progression are internal...

Success and progress are only weakly linked. If you don't want to be an executive - there's nothing wrong with you! Your success depends on your own goals - don't let someone else's arbitrary milestone become your millstone.

I'm at a loss as to what to do here. Both for myself and those I find in a similar situation. I asked if anyone on Twitter felt the same.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Replying to @edentMight turn this into a blog post…

Do you feel pressure to move into management / senior roles?
Is it unwelcome or just the push you needed?

---

Victoria Walberg

@vickyjo

Replying to @edent@edent I think one of the probs has been until recently that tech roles don't command as good a pay as mgmt. (& still don't in some areas)

---

Zoe

@Z303

Replying to @edent@edent I was very much bring pushed in that direction (without any mentoring). When I quit, my boss said why did I have to be a woman

---

Zoe

@Z303

Replying to @Z303@edent Seems I messed up all the diversity numbers

---

Richard Bairwell 🦣

@rbairwell

Replying to @edent@edent Yes+a bit of both.Don't want to "ppl manage",but I can't keep up with the coalface of tech forever. How do u get mgr exp w/o being 1?

---

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Replying to @edentWe need diversity in tech. But focusing on getting people to move upwards ignores those of us who want to expand, not ascend.

---

dis.dis()

@livercat

Replying to @edent@edent I did, and it was uncomfortable when I tried. Went back to the mines after 3 years.

---

Rowena-contadina

@TheRankingMissP

Replying to @edent@edent I personally resent the notion that managers are 'higher'.

---

ཀ།༨ཇ ་།་འ།སབཇའ

@chthonicionic

Replying to @chthonicionic@edent maybe better ways of showing a company values staff are needed beyond hierarchy? Ever increasing salaries make co less flexible

---

Are you in a technical role? Do you feel any pressure to move "upwards"? Do you feel that it is possible to achieve greatness without managing people? Or should I give in to the inevitable and start to put aside my personal desires and take one for the team?

Sometimes Brian, I find myself stuck in front of the laptop at like 10pm on a Sunday night. The kids are in bed, the wife isn’t far behind and there I am answering customer care questions over Twitter with some guy in Geneva! This isn’t my day job. I’m a developer. My question to you is sir; when does Batman sleep?

I find myself in a somewhat similar position. My twitter account, like this blog, is strictly personal. These are my views, not those of my employers. Yet sometimes, I give what could be seen as professional advice.

I'm interested in phones - so when someone asks me for a phone recommendation, I'm usually happy to help. But should I recommend Vodafone devices? Should I recommend them a Vodafone device when I know there may be a better device on T-O2ang3?

On the one hand, my whuffie will increase if I offer an honest assessment - on the other hand, the share price may go up and I may get a commission if I recommend my company's products.

What should I do?

When I see a story about a potentially corrupt deal in Africa - I'd usually be compelled to comment on it. But if the story involves my employers, I'm reluctant to.

The second story is no less interesting or important - but can I risk being seen as an employee giving an official critique on the company? Can I risk the potential drop in share price?  Can I risk my personal comments infringing on my professional life?

What should I do?

I'm not Batman - I'm barely even Alfred. I work to live - I don't live to work.

I think it's accepted that I can use my private persona to improve my public persona. I can answer professional questions in a personal capacity.  But if I do it too much, I risk being seen as nothing but a company stooge - without any of the protection of an "official" professional.

Recently, the role was reversed. My employers recently asked me to use my personal network to the benefit of my private network. At the launch of Vodafone 360 they wanted me to live twitter, twitpic, Qik and YouTube from my personal account.

This presented a problem for me. When I breach the sanctity of my personal account with professional content, do I devalue myself.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm Shakespeare being paid to fill Romeo and Juliet with references to Durex, but I like to think I have some integrity.

What Do You Think?

So, I asked the people who follow me.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

I've been asked to twitter for a Vodafone launch event. Should I do it from @edent or should I keep this non-professional?

---

Reassuringly, the answers they gave were all in a similar vein.

The Actionable Futurist® Andrew Grill

@AndrewGrill

Replying to @edent@edent Why not set up an "event" twitter handle for the event - keep all separate

---

Rachel Clarke

@rachelclarke

Replying to @edent@edent do it from another account - with the occasional cross-tweet from this one

---

Helen Keegan

@technokitten

Replying to @edent@edent depends how interested you think we'll be in reading the tweets. @AndrewGrill's idea of sep acct is good.

---

Denny

@denny

Replying to @edent@edent I quite like convergence, but would doing it from @edent compromise your ability to speak for yourself in future?

---

ilicco

@ilicco

Replying to @edent@edent definitely @VodafoneUK although a few of the purtinent titbits from edent is good too

---

Matt Millar

@millarm

Replying to @edent@edent do it from the vodafone official account ( @VodafoneUK ), and retweet that from your account @VodafoneUK

---

So, that's what I did. I tweeted and twitpic'd from @Vodafone_Group.

I didn't have time to set up a separate Qik account, so I used my own.

When I saw something that I thought my followers would find genuinely interesting, I retweeted my "professional" account.

But I feel uneasy about this. I don't want to be seen as "just" a Vodafone employee. I was originally @Vodaclone on twitter, but I changed my name to fully disassociate myself from my (current) employer.

I want to be interesting enough to be friends with.  I don't want people to be friendly with me only because of what I do 9-5.  I also don't want to alienate those who are interested in me by appearing to be partisan.

Reversing the Roles

What prompted me to write this post was a tweet I made this morning.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

@bash @kate_day any chance you could have a quiet word with someone about CC & flickr? http://bit.ly/Rnrex

---

Both Bash and Kate work for the Telegraph. Neither of them tweet in a professional capacity.

I can't help feeling that I abused their personal space to ask them a professional question. Both were very polite in answering me. But, if they're anything like me, they'll soon find it tiresome to have every Tom, Dick and Harry asking them the same banal questions again and again.

I'm a firm believer in life/work balance. How do I square this with my desire to help my friends and help my employers? Is it even possible to demarcate between the personal and the professional?

When does Bruce Wayne get a night off?