I've often joked that if my employers could pay me in Amazon vouchers, it would save me a lot of hassle. I'm one of those insufferable people who prefers a delivery driver dropping off a single light bulb rather than having to pop to the shops like some sort of savage.

But now the dream is over. Amazon have bundled their sub-standard video offering, a moribund music subscription, and an underwhelming photo backup service in with their excellent free delivery service. In doing so, they've jacked the price from fifty to eighty quid.

Last year I was able to convince them to give me Prime delivery at the old price. But this year? No dice.

And so now I get this passive-aggressive message whenever I visit Amazon.

Here's the thing - I don't listen to much music, I don't live in an area with same day delivery, I already have a photo backup service, and I don't use a Kindle for my reading. Even if I wanted to watch more TV (I don't) Amazon refuse to build an app for my fairly recent smart TV. The same TV I bought on Amazon...

This really shouldn't come as a surprise to me. Amazon works on a socialist model - as described by the CEO Jeff Bezos:

Levy: Speaking of pricing, I wanted to ask about your decision to include streaming video as part of Amazon Prime. Why not charge separately for that? It’s a completely different service, isn’t it?

Bezos: There are two ways to build a successful company. One is to work very, very hard to convince customers to pay high margins. The other is to work very, very hard to be able to afford to offer customers low margins. They both work. We’re firmly in the second camp. It’s difficult—you have to eliminate defects and be very efficient. But it’s also a point of view. We’d rather have a very large customer base and low margins than a smaller customer base and higher margins.
Jeff Bezos Owns the Web in More Ways Than You Think - Wired Magazine, 2011

The more people taking part, the cheaper the cost for everyone. As a political philosophy I'm all for it, but I'm not keen on it being foisted on me as part of a capitalist transaction.

I personally benefit from a well educated, healthy public even if I don't use the services myself - I'm not sure I'll see any benefit from people being able to watch re-runs of Downton Abbey!

Eighty quid for "free" delivery is just too much. I dare say I'll still shop there, but not with as much regularity.

Jeff, if you're reading, please just offer your delivery service as a separate subscription.

I know that Amazon won't mourn the loss of one customer. But I mourn the fact that the subscription economy is slowly killing the services I enjoy.

I spoke to customer services - here's the transcript (edited for clarity) :

To be clear, Amazon weren't forthcoming in whether this was available to everyone. I suggest you ask Amazon very nicely!

In my case, I haven't watched a single Amazon video. I don't even think I've logged into the service. Both Amazon and Panasonic refuse to support my TV. Even if they did, the list of shows available really isn't particularly to my tastes.

Ideally, I'd like to unbundle their useless photo service (I host my own) and their Kindle Lending Library (I have an actual Library Card which has more benefits).

Still, I can't grumble. £50 Prime is a pretty good deal. Isn't it?

Is Prime Worth It?

I loved Amazon Prime. The day we moved house, as we sat exhausted on the sofa surrounded by boxes, I pulled out my smartphone and went crazy. The next morning, even more boxes arrived. Everything from cleaning products to doormats. Over the next few months, that's just how it was. If I saw that we needed something, a couple of clicks on the mobile website and - hey presto - a box would appear the very next day.

I didn't bother to compare prices with other sites - just click and wait. Once (and this is truly tragic) I was feeling a bit peckish on a Saturday afternoon, come Sunday morning the Amazon man dropped off a kilogram bag of chilli puff-rice crackers. Mmmmmm chilli crackers.

For fifty quid a year, it was absolutely perfect. Next day delivery on just about everything - from a single lightbulb to a cross-trainer, from last minute birthday presents to cooking supplies. Click, wait, get.

Then they went and screwed it all up.

They put the price up to eighty-quid. Their rationale was they were now bundling their crappy video service with it. Fine, I guess, but not for me - as I described in detail earlier on my blog. They refuse to support any of the devices I own and, even if they did, there's nothing on there I find of value.

Last year I wangled an extension to my existing price of £49. This year I've done the same.

So, the conundrum. Is it worth paying £50 a year for "free" next day delivery?

The central lie of Amazon Prime is "One-Day Delivery at no extra cost for eligible items."

A lie? I think so. It makes it sound like Prime items aren't more expensive than their regular brethren.

That £4.99 product can be had for £4.25 - a 15% discount - although delivery isn't next day.

On a small pack of rawl plugs, you're paying £2 for Prime's next day delivery.

For more expensive items, like a PS4, there's generally not price difference. But it really does add up for smaller items. And that's kinda the joy of Prime - I can order a single rawlplug, if that's all I need, without having to faff around on the high street.

Given the extra cost of (some) Prime items - is it worth paying for the service?

It's time for some maths! YAY! MATHS! (NB, these numbers are very fuzzy.)

Let's start with the number of items I've purchased from Amazon in the last year. The US site allows users to export a spreadsheet of their orders. The UK site doesn't offer such a facility. Thanks Amazon for truly demonstrating your commitment to the World Wide Web!

According to my account, I bought around 80 items using Prime in 2014. Crikey. I may be an addict....

Anyway...

The extra cost of Prime for each item was ~50p - £2.50 - although not every item charged extra for being available on Prime.

The cost of next day delivery for non-Prime items is between £2 and £10 (!).

If you regularly pay for next day delivery, it's probably cheaper to get Prime.

If you don't need next day delivery...?

Hmmm....

Very very very roughly - Prime costs me £90. £50 for membership and £40 in extra charges for next day delivery. Over all the items I buy, it's probably a good deal... I'd pay more if I didn't have Prime...

Ultimately, what I'm paying for is knowing when delivery will take place. I work from my home in Oxford, an office in Slough, and an office in London. I don't like buying something, then waiting until I'm in the correct location to pick it up. I like placing an order on Saturday and having it arrive on Sunday. Saying that an order will take 1-3 days makes it hard to plan where I have to be in order to get my item.

I'm fundamentally lazy. And I wonder - is that worth the extra cost?

Dear Amazon

If you're reading this blog, here's my wishlist!

• Unbundle Prime delivery and video. Sure, offer them together at a discount price if you like - but good products don't need to be forced onto customers.
• Let customers export their data - in CSV or similar format. Take a look at midata.
• How about making Prime prices the same as regular items? That'd be nice.
• If an item isn't available on Prime - perhaps refund (some of?) the delivery charges.
• Stop making it hard for customers to decide whether they want to give your their custom. The couple of hours I've spent writing this blog post could have been spent browsing your website.