Movie Review - Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

Movie poster featuring two cartoon chipmunks.

Good news everyone! We've found a new way to monetize your childhood! That's the problem with being middle-aged. Your peers are now running the world and know exactly how to profit off you. Stranger Things is designed to tickle every part of your nostalgia gland and Derry Girls zaps you right in the feels. That…

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Movie Review: Dave Made A Maze

Movie poster featuring lots of cardboard.

Well, this is an unexpected treat! What happens if you build a maze you can't get out of? How many people do you inadvertently drag in to your craziness? Are you responsible if they get hurt by the traps you set for yourself? Remember that 1990s horror movie "Cube"? This has exactly the same vibe.…

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Movie Review: The Bubble

Movie poster featuring a group of actors standing in front of a green screen.

Is this the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time? No. Did it have me laughing from start to finish? Yes! Want to know how good it is? Karen Gillan is the only actor in the world who can make me howl with laughter while she's out of focus! Seriously. OK, it isn't exactly original -…

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Movie Review: Cyrano

Movie poster for Cyrano.

Cyrano is deeply weird. As a retelling of the classic story goes, it hits all the right beats. And yet everything about it just feels… off. The actors speak their dialogue with the cadence of a Shakespearean play or Restoration comedy. But they speak modern English with some very laboured prose. The music is delightful.…

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Movie Review: West Side Story (2021)

Tony and Maria looking lovingly at each other.

There is no point in remaking movies. I just don't understand why you would take something which was successful, beautiful, and critically acclaimed - and then go "I can do better!" What can a film-maker possibly add? There's a high likelihood that the remake will fall flat on its face or become the punchline to…

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Movie Review: The Tragedy of Macbeth

Poster for Macbeth.

Does the world need yet another film of Macbeth? And this one doesn't even have a shtick like setting it in a space station. And - to make matters worse - it's filmed in black and white, with a 4:3 aspect ratio. What is this, the Snyder cut?!?! And yet… it is perfect. Joel Coen's…

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Movie Review: Nomadland

Poster for Nomadland. A woman sits outside her van with her underwear drying on a line.

I loved this movie but, the more I reflect on it, the less I like it. There's no doubt that Frances McDormand deserves every accolade - she's one of those rare actors who can completely inhabit a character and makes the screen light up. Chloé Zhao's direction is subtle and sublime, giving us a tender…

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Movie Review: The Matrix Ⅳ - The Recursive Matrification

Poster for The Matrix movie with lots of falling green symbols.

I remember being blown away by the original Matrix. I was an impressionable teenager and it absolutely melted my mind. The story was recycled from a hundred different sci-fi tropes that I was already familiar with - but the direction and effects were outstanding. Nowadays, of course, CGI is par for the course. Literally any…

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Movie Review: Eternals

Film poster for Eternals.

What a dull and plodding movie. It is utterly devoid of joy, wonder, and excitement. Instead, we get obviously bored actors reciting tediously incomprehensible exposition for two hours. It's Captain Planet for the modern age. Only with their powers combined can our calculatedly-diverse cast defeat the baddies! So just like every other MCU story. The…

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Movie Review: The Green Knight

I wish I was clever enough to get all the symbolism of this movie! Dev Patel is consistently one of the best British actors of the modern age. He doesn't just carry this film - he elevates it. Usually I'd tire of an actor being in every single shot, but he has this gift of…

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