This isn't your traditional ergonomic keyboard. Essentially, this is two separate halves joined by a USB-C cable; so you can position it however you like.

Here's a quick video showing it in action:

It is very clicky! Yes, you can replace the keys and switches with something softer. But then people wouldn't know you're the sort of nerd who uses a mechanical keyboard. And where's the fun in that?!

Similarly, the lights are delightfully dazzly. Yes, you can make them more subtle or even turn them off. But then people wouldn't know you're the sort of cool kid who has a light-up keyboard.

Linux Compatibility

The Split 70 comes with a USB-C to A cable. Personally, I'd've preferred straight C-C, but this does the job. Flick the switch at the back to USB mode, plug it in, and Linux instantly detected it. No drivers to configure.

It shows up as 342d:e491 HS Epomaker Split 70 - there's another switch for changing between Mac and PC mode. That doesn't change how the keyboard presents itself; just the keycodes it sends.

There's also a Bluetooth option. Again, Linux use was a breeze - although you'll have to remember what the pairing combo is and which device it is paired to.

There's also a 2.4GHz option. Hidden on the back of the left unit is a little USB-A receiver. Again, pairing is simple - just plug it in and flick the switch.

As expected, it also plays well with Android. The Bluetooth connection worked as did USB-OTG. Of course, quite why you'd want a giant heavy keyboard paired to your tiny phone is an exercise left to the reader.

Customisation

This came as a US keyboard with the " and @ in the "wrong" place. It's easy to remap the keys and adjust the lights using https://usevia.app/ - although you'll need to download the JSON layout first.

It comes with a tool to remove the keys and switches. I'll admit, I'm too much of a chicken to attempt that - but it does look easy.

What doesn't look easy is the way to get it into firmware update mode - which involves shorting some pins and comes with some stringent warnings!

GPL

There is some question about whether Epomaker comply with the GPL when it comes to the QMK source. They appear to have some source code available but it is hard to tell whether it exists for this specific model.

After politely emailing them about GPL compliance, they were happy to supply a link to the Split 70's QMK source code. I'm not deep into recompiling the firmware for my keyboards - but it looked comprehensive to me.

Using it

It's delightful to type on - and I got used to the noise after a while. I wasn't a massive fan of the layout to start with, but it easy to see its appeal. Personally, I'd like an extra numpad to go with it.

The four macro keys are useful. By default, they're set to cut, copy, paste, and undo - but can easily be remapped. The knob is fun - by default it does volume, I'm sure you can find something else useful to do with it.

Battery life is excellent even if you have the lights on full disco. I kept it plugged in to my machine for typing most of the time.

Being able to adjust the split to your own specification is outstanding. If you suffer from RSI, this can genuinely help.

Price

About £80 from Amazon UK or AliExpress. That feels reasonable for this much tech. Obviously you can get a bog-standard keyboard for buttons - but this is unique, tactile, and interesting.

The good folks at Epomaker want me to see the error of my ways and have sent me a couple of devices to review. Today I'm trying out the TH87 and it is surprisingly lovely!

Blinken lights!

Here's a quick video showing some of the effects.

Is this necessary? No! But it is jolly good fun. Probably a bit distracting - especially if you're in a dark space or a crowded office - but rather pleasing nevertheless. Switching between the effects means remembering the correct key combo - there's no way to do it programatically, you just have to cycle through them all.

Linux Compatibility

The TH87 comes with a USB-C to A cable. Personally, I'd've preferred straight C-C, but this does the job. Flick the switch at the back to USB mode, plug it in, and Linux instantly detected it. No drivers to configure.

Rather cheekily, lsusb shows it as 05ac:0250 Apple, Inc. Aluminium Keyboard (ISO) - there's another switch for changing between Mac and PC mode. That doesn't change how the keyboard presents itself; just the keycodes it sends.

Oddly, there was this warning in dmesg:

apple 0003:05AC:0250.0010: Fn key not found (Apple Wireless Keyboard clone?), disabling Fn key handling

However, the function keys worked and I was able to control screen brightness etc using Fn and the F1-12 keys.

There's also a Bluetooth option. Again, Linux use was a breeze - although you'll have to remember what the pairing combo is and which device it is paired to.

There's also a 2.4GHz option. Hidden under one of the feet is a little USB-A receiver. Again, pairing is simple - just plug it in and flick the switch.

As expected, it also plays well with Android. The Bluetooth connection worked as did USB-OTG. Of course, quite why you'd want a giant heavy keyboard paired to your tiny phone is an exercise left to the reader.

Clunk Click Every Trip

So let's talk about noise. This keyboard is noisier than some of my other typing surfaces, but not aggressively so. Apparently it is "pre-lubricated" and has some noise suppression. The travel on the switches is excellent, they aren't stiff, and the whole contraption is sturdy.

It was easy to remove the caps with the enclosed tool. I didn't bother trying to extract a switch because I'm afraid of buggering it up.

Other Things

Battery life is excellent - as you'd expect from a 10,000 mAh unit. It recommends charging by attaching to a computer and warns a regular charger might damage it. But, frankly, it seemed to cope just fine.

There's no software for customising the colours or functionality. Apparently lots of mechanical keyboards run an Open Source firmware - but this appears to be proprietary. There is some question about whether Epomaker comply with the GPL when it comes to the QMK source. They appear to have some source code available but it is hard to tell whether it exists for this specific model. I've contacted them for clarification.

There's a lot of technobabble on the website. Apparently it uses "5-Layer Sound Optimizing Design with PORON Sandwich Foam, IXPE Switch Pad, Sound Enhancement Pad, EPDM Switch Socket Pad, and Silicone Bottom". I've no ideas what it means, but it appears important to some people.

There's no number-pad, which is a bit of a shame. However the keyboard has a proper UK layout and is reasonably compact. Although at 1Kg it is almost as heavy as my laptop!

Cost

I have no internal benchmark for something like this. It's around £60 from AliExpress or £80 on Amazon UK depending on whether you have pleased The Algorithm. That seems pretty reasonable for a hefty keyboard with lots of customisability.

If you want ALL THE LIGHTS and value the ability to hot-swap various keys and switches, I think this is a nifty bit of kit.

Except, it turns out, streaming services.

They use alphabetic keyboards. Worse, each one has a unique layout!

Want to search for that movie staring that guy who was in the film with that one who does the adverts for that thing you like? Here's the keyboards on the various streaming services I have:

Amazon Prime

Three rows. A-M. N-Z. Then a full number row 1-0.

Apple TV

A 6x7 grid. All lower case letters, with numbers appearing directly after the letter z.

BBC iPlayer

A 10x3 grid for the letters, and a separate number pad which goes 1-4, 5-8, 9-0 - unlike any other number pad I've seen.

Channel 4

The same letter grid as Amazon, albeit in upper-case. The space and delete are at the top, rather than the bottom.

Netflix

(I'd learned how to take screenshots from my FireStick by this point.) The same A-F grid as Channel 4 - but space and delete are reversed.

UKTV Play

The same A-F grid as C4 and Netflix. But this adds a "Clear" button. Oh, and numbers start from 0, not 1.

ITVX

The same A-J grid as the BBC, but space is bigger and delete is somewhere else. Also, the numbers are on the top row like a QWERTY keyboard!

BTW, does anyone need a # & £ button on a search?

Others

Feel free to supply your own screenshots for whichever streaming platform you prefer.

WTAF?!

What I don't understand is why they're like this. I assume each of these services have conducted extensive user testing to see what layout people prefer, and which is faster for the average user, right? Do none of their users have a smartphone? Do they turn away from their smart-TV and handwrite letters with a quill and ink?

I get that an A-Z layout is more logical than QWERTY. But surely there are more people who use QWERTY than not? Perhaps the technophobes generate more support calls? Maybe it's just too complicated to ask users if they want a choice of layout?

But this is my plea to anyone who has to display a virtual on-screen keyboard. Just use QWERTY!

I've tried to love it - I really have - but it makes too many compromises, in my opinion. Make no mistake, it is a technological marvel. A brilliant open source project, with excellent support, and a great community. As a keyboard, it offers an excellent physical typing experience.

But it is really hard on my old brain!

I've been touch-typing since I was knee-high to a grass-hopper. So it was weird to continually have to glance down to look at the keyboard. But that got easier over time. At least, for the regular alphabet and numbers. Everything else was a bit of a mess.

There are three main problems I encountered.

Not enough keys

I hadn't quite realised how dependent I was on Print Screen, volume and brightness changers, mute, and quick launch keys. To be clear you can map all those keys - but good luck remembering where they all are!

You can define multiple physical layers - but you then need a pretty complex mental map to keep them straight. Is the * button on the shift layer, the alt layer, or the shift+alt layer? Where the hell even is the alt button?!?!!?

Even just having a few more keys scattered around would alleviate some of the problem - although it is compounded by...

Lack of labels

In an ideal world, each key-cap would be a mini eInk screen which changed its display whenever you hit a modifier key. Sadly, you need to memorise the layout of a couple of dozen keys. Sure, you can print-out a map, or do daily exercises, but you still need a fairly hefty chunk of your brain dedicated to it.

At least you can set your own, personal layout. Mostly. You see there's a problem with...

UK keyboard layouts

This was really confusing. Every time I hit the @ button, it'd print an ". Why? Because you need to tell the keyboard - not your computer - that you're using a UK layout.

Annoying, but I get it. But even once I'd done that, it didn't work. Why? Turns out that I needed to assign the @ (UK) key there. *sigh*

Context shifting

This is the big issue. Sometimes I use my laptop's keyboard. It has a different layout to the Ergodox. So I constantly have to context shift in my brain to remember where are the buttons are. It slows me down massively.

And that, after a few weeks, is still a problem. Not least because I have to occasionally switch back to my laptop's keyboard - which means using a different mental model for typing.

I already feel like I'm super effective on my regular keyboard. I have plenty of shortcuts that I've already memorised. And, frankly, I'm not sure that a multi-week dip in productivity is going be be offset by whatever gains I might make by using it long-term.

The Good

I've been a bit moany about the keyboard - but it does have lots of redeeming features.

• Excellent positioning. Not only are the two sides completely separate, each has easily adjustable legs so you can set it to be exactly right for each hand.
• Brilliant Linux tooling. By default, it "just worked" on Linux - and there is a simple GUI for flashing new layouts. Sadly there's no way to edit layouts on Linux - you need to use the website for that.
• Genuinely friendly community. All my daft questions have been quickly answered by fans.
• Great typing action. Feels excellent to type on. Not too loud, which is a bonus.
• Infinitely customisable. You can replace the key switches to something heavier or lighter. There are lots of keycap sets if you want something more colourful.
• Comfortable wrist-rests. Large chunks of solid foam rubber.
• It is so interesting to use - and it really is worth experimenting with.

Moving On

I'm going to persevere for now. Maybe my brain will click into place one day. But, if you'd like to try the keyboard, I'm happy to sell it to you for what I paid for it - £150 + UK postage. Contact me if you're interested.

But, at some point in the last 18 months of working from home, my work keyboard has gone walkabout. Oh well, a good excuse to buy a new one! Except - sadly - Microsoft have discontinued it.

Don't get me wrong, you can buy a "4000" branded keyboard - but it is a radically different design. And change is scary. So I'm buying up old models on eBay. If you have an old-verson MS 4000 in good condition, please let me know - I may need to stock up!

I've previously written about the cosmetic changes to the Microsoft 4000 keyboard - all mostly changes to what was printed on the keycaps. But the new MS 4000 is radically different.

This is what the new LXM-00004 looks like - it's worth noting that the UK layout is radically different to the US layout (click for massive image).

Here's where I think it is deficient compared to the old model:

• No scroll jogger. I use this all the time.
• No back / forward thumb buttons. I don't mind losing these, although they were handy.
• Calculator is now far away from the num pad. The calc button has been replaced with search. WTF?
• Context menu button is now on the left, rather than the right. That would be handy, except...
• Right hand context menu is now an "Office 365" key. Pointless. No idea if it can be remapped.
• Num Pad's "clear" button is where the "equals" button used to be! That's going to be so easy to accidentally hit.
• No more ⭐ button. I used that as a programmable button all the time.
• 5 of the programmable buttons have been replaced with media controls. While it's nice to have track-skip buttons, I'd rather have something I can set myself.
• PrtScn button has moved. As has Delete.
• The markings for ¦ and | buttons have swapped.

There are a few good points:

• LED on Caps and Num locks. Much more sensible than clustering them in the middle.
• Dedicated Emoji key 😁. I currently use alt+E to launch my Linux Emoji picker.
• Removal of the weird text on the F keys! Which means F-lock is always on. Nice!
• A few extra accessibility ridges on some keys.
• The Delete key is bigger and above backspace - which makes a bit more sense.

I'm sure at some point all my old keyboards will break and I'll have to get one of these. But, for now, I'm holding out. If you have an old 4000 that you no longer need, please let me know!

I'm currently reading Melissa Schilling's book "Strategic management of technological innovation".

In a passage talking about customers' resistance to new inventions and the destruction of domain knowledge, it talks about the invention of the Dvorak keyboard. Supposedly better than the QWERTY keyboard - but ignored by the majority of customers.

August Dvorak is said to have died a bitter man, claiming, “I’m tired of trying to do something worthwhile for the human race. They simply don’t want to change!”

Is that true? The citation is maddeningly vague - as most citations are - saying only "Diamond, “The Curse of QWERTY.”"

Which Diamond? Dustin from Saved By The Bell? Which publication? Cat Fancier Quarterly?

A quick search found it on Wikiquote - albeit with a broken link. I found the original - a 1997 article by Jared Diamend.

August Dvorak died in 1975, a bitter man: I’m tired of trying to do something worthwhile for the human race, he complained. They simply don’t want to change!

Diamond doesn't list his sources. So it's off to Google books!

A search for a variation of that quote turned up 1972's Computers and People, Volume 21

Annoyingly, Google only shows a snippet, so we can't see who the author was or if the article is entitled "Imaginary conversations I had with great inventors while I was out of my gourd on drugs."

I couldn't find it in any easily accessible archives. The British Library only has Volume 22 onwards

Luckily, my Twitter gang are excellent

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

So, any Computer Science Historians have a copy of:
Computers and People
Volume 21
1972
Publisher: Berkeley Enterprises

THANKS GANG!

---

Andy T

@_andy_tea

@edent I don't think it's quite what you're looking for? But this link might still be interesting / helpful? :) archive.org/details/bitsav…

---

Indeed! The journal was called something else for Volume 21. And Archive.org has a scan of the full magazine:

Robert Parkinson simply called up Dr Dvorak and interviewed him! The article "The Dvorak Simplified Keyboard: Forty Years of Frustration" was the result.

The interview took place in 1962. Dvorak died three years after this article was published. As his keyboard layout didn't gain any significant traction between 1962 and his death, I suspect his attitude didn't alter.

Isn't it nice when quotes are accurate! And isn't it frustrating when authors don't go back to the source?

For years I was a devotee of the Microsoft 4000 Keyboard. It's a big old beast - and that's its main drawback; it's just too large to carry around. It could also do with an integrated USB hub if it's going to take up one of my precious laptop ports.

So I moved to Microsoft's wireless model - the Sculpt Desktop. It's a delightful bit of kit. Just about small enough for me to carry around. Only two real drawbacks - it takes AAA batteries rather than being rechargeable, and it doesn't use Bluetooth.

Yup, it requires a proprietary dongle from Microsoft which is hideously insecure. Oh, and if you lose the tiny dongle, you need to buy an entirely new keyboard!

It's also too fragile for a normal laptop bag...

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

My Tweets may make less sense than usual today... pic.x.com/2gvopjpr10

---

One of the keys got knocked off in my bag.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Replying to @edentTried to transplant the mechanism from the "Insert" key to my broken "L". Didn't work 😢
Any help @MicrosoftUK? pic.x.com/6olzxm7iwa

---

*sigh*

Last week, an unexpected present dropped through my letterbox. Some kindly anonymous soul bought me a gift from my Amazon wishlist - a brand new Goldtouch Go!2 Mobile Bluetooth Wireless Keyboard.

OMG!

It's an ergonomic, adjustable, Bluetooth keyboard. (Geeky lanyard via Jenny Wren Creates.)

Watch it fold!

The Good

• Bluetooth. Works perfectly with Linux and Android alike. No dongle needed. Uses a random passcode to pair.
• Has a Mac mode for those people who like their @ key in the wrong place.
• Micro-USB rechargable. Battery life seems good - and it takes the same charging cable as all my other kit.
• Ubuntu shows the battery level remaining as part of the power menu.
• The right size to rest on top of a MacBook Pro *without* interfering with the in-built keyboard.
• Adjustable. Good range of vertical and horizontal movement.
• Extra function keys work in Linux (Calculator, Home, Volume, etc)
• Excellent range of "extra" keys - Print Screen, Home, End, etc.
• Solid feel. Even when typing away with the keyboard raised, there's very little flex in it.
• Pairs with Ubuntu before the login screen - so you can type in your password using the keyboard.
• UK spec - so has the £ and € keys where you'd expect them.
• Rubber grips on the bottom - keyboard doesn't shift even when you're hammering it.
• It folds away to protect the keys!

The Bad

I'm going to be really nitpicky here.

• No backlit keys. Understandable on a battery powered device - but I think I would be prepared to lose on battery life (or take a larger device) to make typing in the dark easier.
• Bit of a faff to set up and put away. Much like a Brompton bike - you have to remember which bits to pull at in which order. You have to lift the lever to release the hinge mechanism. Pull the Unlock switch if you want to fold or unfold the keyboard. Flick the power switch. I think the pairing and power buttons could be on the other side - but that's a personal preference.
• I could stand to have a little more horizontal movement.
• I'm sure the joining cable is tough - but it looks a little exposed and fragile.
• Slightly odd key placement. Print screen is easy to hit accidentally. Just as with any new keyboard, it takes a little time to learn.
• No wrist rest. So extended periods of typing may be a little uncomfortable.
• Caps Lock light is a little dim. Yeah... I'm stretching here!

Honestly, there's not a lot to criticise here. The keys have a decent level of travel, it's quiet, easy to configure, and looks awesome!

The Ugly

I think it is a gorgeous bit of kit. Once you've learned how to type on it and what position works best for you, it feels great to type on. The only fly in the ointment? The price.

Brace yourselves.

£170!

Youch! That's the cost of a cheap laptop or tablet.

I'm conflicted here. I'm hugely grateful to the anonymous patron who bought this for me - I had been vacillating as to whether to get it - but I can't help wondering if it provides value for money.

There is nothing like this on the market. No cheap Alibaba clones, no fast followers - this is unique.

It is the best damned ergonomic Bluetooth keyboard - if only by the virtue of being the only one!

If you take your hands' health seriously, and can't stand laptop keyboards, I highly recommend it. Goldtouch have made a great product and my fingers thank them.

So, time to try the inelegantly named "Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop" - a wireless keyboard with separate number-pad and mouse.

Typing

Let's start with how the keyboard is to type on. It's close to perfect! I'm comparing this to my venerable Microsoft 4000 keyboard.

The split and rise of the unit is a delight. Feels really easy on the wrists. They keys don't have a lot of travel - it's more like a laptop that a traditional keyboard - but it's responsive and light.

It's relatively slim - about the width of a MacBook Pro.

The rise is quite gentle. While I would have preferred it to have been a bit steeper - it keeps the heft of the unit down, so it's slim enough to fit in a normal laptop bag.

The riser is removable - it clips on with magnets - if you prefer a regular incline.

The layout is fairly traditional for the main part and should be easy enough to get used to. The numberpad had moved to its own, separate unit - so there's a weird cluster of positioning keys - home, end, arrows, etc.

As you can see above, the calculator key is present - which is useful. Of less use is the function switch. On most keyboards, the function keys do double-duty as media keys. By using a dedicated function key, you can switch their use. So F5 refreshes the screen, and Function+F5 launches a search window. With this keyboard, you have to flick a switch, hit the key, and then remember to flick it back. It's a little annoying.

Wireless

Microsoft has never liked standards. Rather than going with Bluetooth - which would have been available on all modern computers - they've bundled their own proprietary wireless dongle. DO NOT LOSE THIS DONGLE! If the dongle is lost or damaged, you cannot get a replacement - your only option is to buy an entire new set! I spoke to MS about this and they say that's for "security". They will, however, send a replacement set if you're still within the warranty period of your purchase.

This would have been so much easier with Bluetooth, you'd be able to swap between machines without worrying about a tiny, fragile adapter.

The dongle itself is a bit on the large side - far larger and wider than most cheap BlueTooth, WiFi, or other wireless keyboard plugins.

It does jut somewhat alarmingly out of the side of a laptop.

And, sadly, proprietary dongles like this are often prone to sniffing.

Microsoft - please use BlueTooth next time!

Power

If it were my choice, this device would have a rechargable battery - with a standard USB connector for power. Microsoft have chosen to use 2 AAA batteries in the keyboard. The mouse takes 2 AA batteries. Both keyboard and mouse have nifty magnetic doors hiding the batteries. The numberpad has a battery compartment which can only be accessed by a screwdriver. The battery? A CR2430 coin cell!

It would have been great to have everything at least powered by the same type of battery - but that doesn't fit in with Microsoft's design philosophy, apparently.

There is also no power switch on the keyboard or numberpad. They go to sleep automatically when they can't detect the wireless signal. There is a power switch on the mouse. Because why not.

According to The Verge, the battery life is "3 years for the keyboard, 6 years for the number pad, and 1 year for the mouse."

So, hopefully you won't get caught short and have to remember exactly which style of battery you're supposed to be replacing!

Mouse

The mouse is fairly weighty. There are two thumb buttons available - one is a "back" button, which can easily be remapped to something more useful. The other is a "Windows" key - to open your start menu.

Although it has a bit of a tilt to it, I've gone back to my vertical mouse.

Linux Compatibility

Plug and play - no drivers needed. Keyboard and mouse both worked flawlessly.

Downsides

It's not all sunshine and roses, however. The aforementioned Function Keys have a tendency to stick in their downwards position. Mine came with a stuck F2 key - which meant I couldn't type a capital C. I quickly jiggled the key loose and I could type normally again.

There are no "Favourites" keys - other than the calculator. I usually have a row of keys dedicated to launching frequently used apps or websites. Unlike the MS 4000, there are no dedicated zoom or back/forward shortcut keys.

There's this weird plastic... flap? Tag? Thing? Just by the Escape key.

At first I thought it was a guard to prevent accidental clicking - but it might be a manufacturing defect.

Speaking of the Escape key -it's really loose and rattles around when pressed.

There's no LED to tell you if Caps Lock is on - to save on battery life, one presumes. I guess it's unrealistic to expect a backlight under the keys either!

Cost

Overall, this is a great keyboard - marred only by some regrettable hardware choices. It's slim, light, easy to type on, and simple to set up.

The full keyboard, mouse, munberpad set costs around £65 from Amazon.

If you can do without the mouse - the keyboard and numberpad alone costs around £50.

Sadly, one of mine has started to get a bit old and frail - the letters are rubbing off and the keys are getting a bit spongy - so I sprang for a new one.

On getting the new one out of its box, I couldn't help but notice that it had undergone some fairly substantial cosmetic changes. All the keys are in the same position, and the functionality remains the same, but it looks different.

This is an utterly nerdy post which will be of no interested other than to keyboard aficionados :-)

Even at a cursory glance, it's obvious that substantial changes have been made.

1. No markings on the keyboard case like "favourites" and "zoom" - only the keys have markings.
2. The font used on the keys feels subtly different. It's not a substantial change.
3. Most markings are now centred on their key - but not all.
4. Several icons have been changed - such as context menu, mute, etc.
5. Some keys are now missing a textual description - like "backspace" and "shift"

On to the control block!

The fully spelled-out "page up" now becomes a Homer-Simpson-esque "Pig Up?"

The biggest changes are in the lower left corner.

The dedicated Windows key has lost its physically indented roundel - which is a shame as that's a useful way for touch typists to know where they are.  The Flag logo has also been updated to the Metro style.

The word "tab" disappears, and the icon gets a minor update.  Shift goes and also gets a new icon.

  Let's take a look at the number pad.

• The Microsoft logo has been updated.
• All the key labels are now centred.
• The backspace key (top right) now has a different icon than its bigger brother.
• The arrows now look like chevrons.

...and that's just about it.  The only physical change is to the Windows key, all the other changes are cosmetic.  I'm not a big fan of the abbreviations, but centring all placements seems sensible.

The keyboard is still a joy to type on and still works perfectly with Linux.

You can buy the Microsoft Natural Ergo Keyboard 4000 on Amazon.

We spent some time trying to work out the best phone for her before, eventually, settling on.... another BlackBerry Torch!

Why?

My mum has an Android tablet which she likes very much. Her Windows laptop suits her needs fine. She admires her friends' iPhones and iPads. Yet she still chose the classic BlackBerry - not BB10 - over all the other phones on the market.

It comes down to the keyboard. My mum writes. Not just emails, but short stories, scripts, and novels. The BlackBerry keyboard is incredibly accurate - several times moreso than even the best touchscreen equivalent. Even when wearing gloves, the keyboard will clatter and clack away producing word-perfect results.

I love SwiftKey Flow for Android - but even that doesn't compare to the speed and accuracy of a physical keyboard.

Well, ok, what about the BlackBerry Q10? It has a keyboard and touchscreen, why not choose a more modern OS?

From my use of the Q10, it's no faster than BBOS7. The screen is tiny compared to the Torch, and the gesture driven interface is inaccurate and frustrating. Worse still is BlackBerry's decision to remove many of the features and shortcuts of the original BlackBerry. This means there's a steep learning curve - not an issue for a woman as switched on as my mother - but having so many half-familiar / half-broken UI elements is confusing and annoying.

Where Are The QWERTY Androids?

Back in 2011, I reviewed the Motorola Pro+. A phone so unloved by Motorola that they've subsequently thrown it down the memory hole.

The Pro+ had a pretty good form factor and an excellent keyboard. It was hamstrung by buggy software and underpowered hardware. But, boy, I loved that keyboard.

There are no Android phones currently on the market with a physical keyboard. Even the Chinese purveyors of ultra-niche phones don't supply them any more.

The BlackBerry Torch has a brilliant form factor. A large touchscreen covering a good sized keyboard. A little chunky - but big enough to store a capacious battery. That's one of the other reasons my mum went for it - who wants to recharge every single day?

So where are all the QWERTY Androids? I've heard unsubstantiated rumours that BlackBerry have so many patents on mobile phone keyboards that no one can produce a decent one without paying outrageous fees. That's certainly a possibility.

Or is it just a matter of fashion? Ever since Apple popularised the black slab of glass, all phones have moved towards that as a platonic ideal.

Will we ever see a modern phone with an integrated keyboard - or does my mother have to resign herself to buying increasingly outdated hardware in a bid to stay productive?

Using Florian Diesch's tutorial at Ask Ubuntu, I've come up with this simple guide to get your keyboard working.

Update For 14.04: Don't follow this guide, please use this guide on AskUbuntu.

1. Open a terminal. Sorry, this is all going to be command prompt based!
2. Install the program evtest

   sudo apt-get install evtest

3. You will need to find which input "event" corresponds to your keyboard. Run the following command

   sudo evtest /dev/input/event5

   When you press the scroll key on your keyboard, you should see an output like

   Event: time 1325072953.278713, type 4 (Misc), code 4 (ScanCode), value c022e
   Event: time 1325072953.278729, type 1 (Key), code 109 (PageDown), value 1
   Event: time 1325072953.278752, -------------- Report Sync ------------
   

   If you don't, cancel (using CTRL+C) and try another event number. Start at event0 and work your way up.
4. Let's see what the keys are currently mapped to. Type the command

   sudo /lib/udev/keymap -i input/event5

   (or whatever "event" number you need). You should see an output like

   scan code: 0xC022D   key code: zoomin
   scan code: 0xC022E   key code: zoomout

5. We need to create a file which contains the new keymapping. To do this, type

   sudo nano /lib/udev/keymaps/microsoft-4000

6. Insert the following two lines into the file

   0xC022D pageup
   0xC022E pagedown

   If you would rather scroll line-by-line, you can use

   0xC022D up
   0xC022E down

   Save the file by pressing CTRL+X.
7. Now, let's implement the remapped keys. Type

   sudo /lib/udev/keymap input/event5 /lib/udev/keymaps/microsoft-4000

8. Your scroll buttons should now be working! If not... errr... try again?
9. Assuming it is working, we need to make this permanent so that we don't have to type in a command every time we reboot. To open the keymapping file, type

   sudo nano /lib/udev/rules.d/95-keymap.rules

10. Scroll through the file until you see

    #
    # The following are external USB keyboards
    #
    
    LABEL="keyboard_usbcheck"
    

    Past in the following line

    ENV{ID_VENDOR_ID}=="045e", ENV{ID_MODEL_ID}=="00db", RUN+="keymap $name microsoft-4000"

    The line needs to be above

    GOTO="keyboard_end"

    Save the file (CTRL+X).
11. Reboot.

Hey presto! Your keys will now obey your commands.