I have an ancient Roomba. A non-sentient robot vacuum cleaner which only speaks in monophonic beeps. At least, that's what I thought. A few days ago my little cybernetic helper suddenly started speaking! 🔊 💾 Download this audio file. Not exactly a Shakespearean soliloquy, but a hell of a lot better than trying to decipher BIOS beep codes. All of my electronics beep at me. My dishw…
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Summer is coming. The best time to buy air-con is before it gets blazing hot. So, off to the Mighty Internet to see if I can find a unit which I can attach to my burgeoning smarthome setup. I settled on the SereneLife 3-in-1 Portable Air Conditioning Unit. It's a small(ish) tower, fairly portable, claims 9000 BTU, is reasonable cheap (£160ish depending on your favourability to the algorithm), …
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"Mirror Mirror on the wall. What's the hottest gadget of them all?" Do you need a mirror which is connected to the Internet? Yes. Obviously. What's the point of having anything which doesn't have an IP address‽ The good folks at Infrared Group don't want me shivering while I blog, so they've sent me their latest Far Infrared heating panel which, obviously, is also a smart mirror. 350W of heat, e…
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The people who built my kitchen were idiots. They designed it to be lit with a dozen recessed GU10 spotlights. That's not so terrible - GU10 LED bulbs are only about £1 each - but because I am a bigger idiot, I decided I wanted remote-controlled bulbs. And ZigBee bulbs are expensive! Five years ago, feeling flush with cash, I replaced all the bulbs with a mixture of Hue and Innr Smart bulbs. …
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One of the most frustrating things in modern technology is the effort spent trying to artificially restrict abundance. Take, for example, this tale from museum-worker Aaron Cope: I was out with a friend who worked for Twitter and I asked them whether it would be possible for the museum to “create 200,000 Twitter accounts, one for each object in the Cooper Hewitt’s collection”. My friend looke…
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I have a lovely, and reasonably priced, Mini Panda Rice Cooker. It does not have any SmartHome features. You put in water and rice, press a button, it cooks rice. Nice! The only problem is - I don't know how long the rice will take to cook. It uses "Fuzzy Logic" to work out exactly how much heat and time is needed for perfect fluffy rice. This is inconvenient. I cannot always hear the beep the…
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Matter is coming to fix all your smarthome woes! A single IoT standard, working across multiple radio protocols, bringing together different products from many different manufacturers. And… it works! Mostly These are the Meross 315 Smart Plugs. They are small(ish), cheap(ish), and easy(ish) to use. As soon as I plugged them in, before even configuring them, my home went crazy. I got a p…
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There's a popular meme that Internet connected domestic appliances are a useless fad that no-one wants. I disagree. Obviously, a crappy oven with an app that upsells you cleaning products is a bit shit. As is a dishwasher that borks on firmware update and lets itself be hacked by the Eurasians. But those are just a symptom of profit-led development rather than placing a priority on user-needs. …
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Another blog post which is a long and complex search query. I have a bunch of smart plugs. Some use WiFi, some use Zigbee, some use Bluetooth. None of them use PowerLine Ethernet. Why is that? I have a bunch of PowerLine Ethernet adapters. They let me use my home's electrical wiring as a network. They also let me plug electrical items into them. But none of them can be controlled remotely. Why…
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There's an absolutely delightfully bonkers post doing the rounds called "My Overkill Home Network" - which is a look into what happens when a computer geek goes feral and stuffs as many Internet connected thingamajigs in a living space. We're talking professional grade, rack mounted, doubly redundant, over-specced, equipment. Overkill is underselling it. I wondered how my home network looked in…
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The best gadget I got in lockdown was a set of motion activated lights. They have no user interface. I walk by them in the dark and they turn on. Midnight piss? No fumbling for a light switch, no shouting to a digital assistant, no logging in to an app. Simple. I love it. It got me thinking about other things which have "zero interfaces". Once they're set up, they just keep quietly working. …
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They say that The Best Camera Is The One That's With You - the same is true of Raspberries Pi. As much as I'd love a 4B, they seem permanently sold out. So I dug through my scrapheap of old tech and resurrected an ancient Pi2. It's old, outdated, slow, with limited RAM, and has a bunch of much-abused GPIO pins. But it works and - crucially - is still supported by Home Assistant OS. Well...…
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