For those new to the format, there is a popular meme about things which computer programmers erroneously believe. This isn't intended to shame anyone - just to point out things which may not be immediately obvious to the neophyte.

There's nothing us Brits love more than moaning talking about the weather. And, just as Inuit speakers have hundreds of words for snow, so English speakers have hundreds of words for rain.

What's cold for you is not cold for me

I've visited countries where I was sweating as soon as I stepped off the plane while the locals were dressed in layers and shivering.

Similarly, I'm sure you've visited a blustery northern English town at night and worried that the hoards of teenagers on the lash are going to catch a chill.

It doesn't always snow at Christmas

A few years ago, I had the delightful experience of enjoying Xmas in the southern hemisphere. The weather was blazing hot - and several stores had artificial snow in the windows for a "festive" look.

There are plenty of calendars which have snowy motifs for December, even on the side of the planet where the Moon is upside down.

℃ ℉ °K

Perhaps the most obvious one. 100° may either be delightfully warm or fatal, depending on what system you use.

There are, of course, many different temperature scales. I recommend Hasok Chang's Inventing Temperature for more information.

And more?

Feel free to add your favourites in the comment box.

Everyone has fingerprints!

The BBC has a grim tale of a family with a genetic mutation which means they have no fingerprints. It details the issues they have getting official ID.

In 2010, fingerprints became mandatory for passports and driver's licences. After several attempts, Amal was able to obtain a passport by showing a certificate from a medical board. He has never used it though, partly because he fears the problems he may face at the airport. And though riding a motorbike is essential to his farming work, he has never obtained a driving licence. "I paid the fee, passed the exam, but they did not issue a licence because I couldn't provide fingerprint," he said. The family with no fingerprints

Even if this genetic issue didn't exist, it should be obvious that not everyone has fingers, or hands. Some people are born without hands, some people lose them later in life.

Policy is about the edge-cases. It's easy to design something which works for the majority of people - the real challenge is how we deal with the fringes.

Everyone has a unique face / unique DNA

Ever heard of twins, dumbass?

OK, it is a little bit more complicated than that.

It is easy to revoke a biometric indicator

Even if you assumed that everyone has ten fingers - that means you can only change your ID 9 times. If you're using iris recognition, that's one change you're permitted before you have to grow new eyeballs.

Biometrics can't be copied

Back in 2002, Tsutomu Matsumoto copied fingerprints using Gummy Bears.

Researchers can consistently fool iris scanners

3D printed facemasks can defeat facial recognition systems.

The thing about biometrics is that they are not secret. You leave your fingerprints everywhere. If a camera can read your face, it can copy your details.

Biometrics can't be changed

Will having a "nose job" stop your iPhone from recognising you? Probably not. But there are a range of surgical procedures which can be done.

People who have Facial Feminisation Surgery can be given a letter from a doctor to explain to border guards why a person's face may no longer match their biometrics.

What are they good for?

Biometrics are not passwords. Nor are they a universal 2nd factor. Biometrics are, at best, usernames.

For the average user, it's probably fine to use your fingerprint or face to unlock your phone. If you think an enemy state is going to devote considerable resources to steal copies of your biometrics, consider changing to a different password mechanism.

Or, if you have kids.

Pushkar

@Pushkarr

Friend's 5-year old daughter started unlocking his phone with his fingerprint while he's asleep so that she can play games.

He now sleeps with gloves on. #lifeisblackmirror

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Or if you're cheating on your spouse.

A Qatar Airways pilot was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger found out her husband was cheating on her and had a violent reaction in midair. The woman reportedly used her sleeping husband's finger to unlock his phone and discovered his cheating ways. Eyewitness News

In a safe-ish environment, biometrics are a good convenience mechanism. If your phone is snatched by an opportunistic thief, they're unlikely to have the means to spoof your ID.

But they are not a perfect security measure.

Do You Want To Phone A Friend?

A popular website asked me to confirm my phone number. It "helpfully" pre-filled the country-code with +1. And proudly displayed the Stars and Stripes.

Except, of course, the USA isn't the only country to use +1 - our friends in the Great White North also use +1.

Thanks to the North American Numbering Plan, a full 25 countries or territories use +1. From Anguilla 🇦🇮 to Turks and Caicos Islands 🇹🇨. OK… their flags look pretty similar! But they're obviously different from 🇺🇸!

Canada 🇨🇦 and Jamaica 🇯🇲 have very different flags - and climates - but they both use +1.

I suspect that the website designers were expecting people to look at the flag and realise that it didn't represent their home country, and then change it. However, for the majority of +1 countries which aren't part of the United States, it looks a little crass.

My home country, the United Kingdom 🇬🇧, uses the +44 code. As do Guernsey 🇬🇬, Jersey 🇯🇪, and the Isle of Man 🇮🇲.

The UK is comprised of Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿, and N.I. (with a more complicated flag status!)

People can have a complicated relationship with flags. Your glorious banner of home might be my symbol of a conquering despot.

Flags change. Afghanistan's flag has changed 4 times since the year 2000.

Some flags are not recognised by other countries.

Flags represent countries, states, territories, and pirate ships 🏴‍☠️ - but they do not represent international dialling codes!

Lingua Franca

Lots of countries speak English. But the majority of them don't have 🇬🇧 as their flag.

Indeed, lots of people in the UK don't speak English. So using a 🇬🇧 to indicate language choice may be confusing.

If you are in South Africa, there are 11 official languages. Does 🇿🇦 represent Xhosa, Zulu, Afrikaans, English…?

Flags are for golf courses ⛳, motor-sports 🏁, and for Pride 🏳️‍🌈 - not for representing languages.

Do You Have A Flag

I'm pretty sure the law requires me to share this video…

I was taking a look at Google's "Family" proposition - which allows users to share their purchases with other family members. What I found didn't impress me.

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

File under "Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Families." pic.x.com/3vgiq0ursf

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Let's take a look at some of the more baroque requirements in their terms & conditions.

Does your family have more than five members? Around 10% of babies born in the UK have three or more siblings. It also ignores families which want to include grandparents and in-laws in their group.

Or, "Sorry little Timmy, we can only add you to the Google family plan once your granny dies."

You're adopted, having been with a few foster families this year. You can't join the same Google family as your new brothers and sisters.

You split up from your partner - you can't join a new partner's family for a whole year.

In the UK, you can marry and/or start a family at 16. Are a young married couple really excluded from sharing their media?

The credit card requirement also seems odd given that you can purchase media using pre-pay cards with no age restriction.

Your adult child is about to be deployed overseas. Can they remain in the family so you can buy them games & films?

You live with your mum & step-dad. Your bio-dad wants to add you to his Google family. What do you do?

Why does Google have such a narrow conception of what a "family" is?

Falsehoods programmers believe about the "falsehoods programmers believe" meme

A number of people on Twitter have taken the title literally. "This is about managers and lawyers!" they protest. But, of course!

Terence Eden is on Mastodon

@edent

Replying to @edentOMG! The number of people who think I *literally* blame programmers!

The "Falsehoods" meme is about exposing poor planning at *all* stages.

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All of the "Falsehoods" memes - including the original - are a shorthand for "Constraints placed upon a complex system by a mixture of ignorance, apathy, business requirements, or other legal constraints".

That's not quite as snappy!

This is undoubtedly a licensing issue. Google have used "Family" as a consumer-friendly term for "Group of people who want to share media but may or may not be related." The nuclear ideal of Mom, Pop, Dick, Jane, and one miscellaneous doesn't really fit with many people's reality.

If I buy a physical DVD or videogame, I can lend it to as many people as I want - whether they're part of my family or not. The friction of dealing with moving physical items is really the only barrier to me lending out my entire collection to the whole world.

The digital world obliterates friction.

So we're stuck with a situation where a mega-corporation and their lawyers try to define the minimum viable family which will keep other lawyers happy and, hopefully, won't piss off too many real families.

How do you think they're doing?

Thoughts?

You can continue the conversation on this blog, or this Twitter thread, or on BoingBoing where Cory has written some excellent insder information on the decision making process which produced this.