conferences – Terence Eden’s Blog

Lessons learned from bringing promotional sweets to a conference

@edent — Sun, 21 Jan 2024 12:34:28 +0000

I've recently set up my own consultancy company and decided to sponsor my local UKGovCamp conference. That entitled me to a logo on the site, a shout-out during the conference, and place to put any promotional stickers. Everyone loves stickers!

But I decided to bring along something different - promotional sweeties!

I found a small business to print my logo with edible ink onto sweets and ordered some fizzy flying saucers, mint Mentos, and fruit Mentos. They all had my company logo and name on them.

Here was my working theory. If I were a bigger sponsor, I'd have a table and people would have been able to come up to me and chat in exchange for swag. But I didn't have a dedicated space. That's OK, I could make my own space!

If you walk up to people while carrying a big bag of candy and say "Would you like ~~a Jelly Baby~~ an after-dinner mint?" people react with joy! Most people love being offered a sweet. It's a great way to meet people and start conversations.

It was great! It felt like I talked to all 500 attendees, I gave away most of the sweets, and I told people a little about the work I do. People had smiles on their faces and were happy to chat.

But… Here's what didn't work.

The key flaw in my cunning plan is that once you give someone a sweet with a logo on it, they eat the sweet. Now they don't have your logo to remember you by! A sticker is like a business card - a physical reminder. A sweet is gone in an instant.

The sweets are quite small and, as a consequence, the logo and text are also small. A few people didn't notice the printing or thought that the mints were designed to look like blue eyeballs.

My site has reasonable SEO if you search for "Open Ideas Ltd" - but there was no URl printed on the sweets because they were too small. And they would be eaten straight away.

Compact disks of sugar aren't the most health-conscious snack. I made sure that the treats were all vegan and gluten-free. While the big tub of flying saucers had the ingredients and allergens printed on them, the Mentos didn't. Some people were (understandably) reluctant to take unidentified sweets from a stranger.

So, lessons learned? Bring bigger sweets, with more eye-catching designs, including a clear call to action, and which are sugar-free and inedible.

Stickers. I've reinvented stickers…

And yet… I'd probably do it again! I'm not a mega-corp trying to convince people to purchase my services. I'm just this guy, you know? It can be a bit intimidating to go up to strangers and say "TALK TO ME". But saying "Hello! Would you care for a sweet?" is a socially acceptable ice-breaker.

I enjoyed the experience and, while I don't think it will lead to a 10x ROI with enhanced EBITDA and hitting my OKRs, it was a lot of fun.

My question to you is this - what's the favourite swag you've ever given out?

You are not the Devil's Advocate

@edent — Mon, 04 Nov 2019 07:51:48 +0000

I'd recently given a talk at a conference and was gently basking in the glow of people telling me how fabulous I was, when some entitled prick came up to me and said...

Great talk, mate! Really interesting stuff. But...

"Oh great!" I thought. "Here it comes..."

To play Devil's Advocate for a moment, have you...

"No. Stop." I said. And, to my surprise, he did. "The Devil doesn't need any more advocates. Rephrase your question to be more positive."

That stopped him in his tracks. Like most blokes, he wasn't accustomed to anyone questioning his question. He paused. Spluttered. Then asked me a fairly sensible question. Which I answered.

I'm not religious. I don't literally believe in Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, or any of the other physical incarnations of evil. But I do believe that asking questions in bad-faith is a nasty thing to do.

You're saying "I think you're an idiot - but I'm going to pretend that some imaginary interlocutor is criticising you instead."

If you think I'm wrong, say so yourself. Don't hide behind the Prince of Darkness.

Inclusivity Tips for Conference Speakers

@edent — Fri, 09 Mar 2018 12:05:01 +0000

I'm lucky enough to get invited to speak at a variety of conferences around the world. After accepting a speaking invitation, and checking I'm not on an all-male line-up, I usually make one of the following requests to the organisers.

Thanks for inviting me. Can you let me know if the venue is wheelchair accessible?
So excited to be there. What are the crèche facilities going to be?
Looking forward to speaking. Will you be providing a sign-language interpreter?
Can't wait to see you. Please can you ensure that videos of the sessions have subtitles?
Here are the slides you requested. Does the venue have gender neutral toilets?
Cheers, I've booked my travel. What's the link to the Code of Conduct?

These aren't things which I necessarily need - but they're incredibly important for people who might feel nervous about making special requests.

I'm not saying you have to do all of these - or that these are the only issues you should care about. But pick something. Spend a few of your privilege points on making the event a bit more inclusive for everyone who attends.

Huge thanks to Charlotte Jee and Jemima Gibbons for encouraging me to write this post.

Do Adults Need Conference Codes of Conducts?

@edent — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 11:12:31 +0000

(Because what the world needs is another CoC thinkpiece from a straight, white-passing, cis-gendered man.)

This is a rambling blog post inspired by Cate Hudson's "Codes of Conduct and Worthless Manfeelings". You should read that first, it's pretty good. Don't worry, I'll wait.

(In which I do my best not to insult all my friends and colleagues.)

I go to lots of conferences. Fewer than I used to (we'll come on to that) - but I can honestly say that I've spoken on panels, attended workshops, given keynotes, and run sessions at conferences all over Europe, Africa, and the USA.

Very roughly, in my experience, conferences can be divided into "Grown Ups" and "Kids". Big, professional, moneyed conferences like MWC, Learning Tech, and GDC fall into the "Grown ups doing serious business" - whereas OverTheAir, Hackathons, and BarCamps fall much more squarely into the "Gang! We can put on the show in the old barn!" camp.

(This is, of course, grossly insulting to the huge amount of effort which goes in to making unconferences happen. I've only been involved on the periphery of organising them - and it's a hell of a lot harder than it looks. It's a huge time and resource hungry endeavour to make something feel so relaxed and intimate.)

Unconferences are a form of nerd edutainment. Yeah, we're learning while having fun! They're a great way to share knowledge, catch up with friends, and meet new people. It feels like they should be the last place that needs a Code of Conduct. "We're all cool - just don't be a dick."

Sadly, that's not the case.

Similarly, at some of the "Grown Up" conferences I've been to, it would feel downright weird to have a CoC. We're trained to see our Important Work Colleagues as sexless creatures - besides, what kind of depraved animal gets turned on by being in a conference hall in Swindon? Certainly not Bob from accounting - unless the workshop is on Double-Entry Bookkeeping, right!?!?!?!!!

Asking an organiser if they have a Code of Conduct feels a bit like asking a new lover if they've recently been tested for STDs. What the hell are you implying?! That our conference has a problem? Throws glass of wine at your face

Last weekend I was at the excellent Over The Air 2015. It has become a permanent fixture in the UK Geek Scene - and I'm proud to count the organisers as friends. This was the first year (that I'm aware of) where there's been a Code of Conduct in place. It's not in place due to a specific incident - I think it's more to do with trend for (good) conferences to feature them.

I spoke to a bunch of attendees about the CoC, and here is my distilled view.

Having a Code of Conduct is alienating.

It makes people think there has been an incident which warrants it.
People feel less inclined to honestly express themselves.
Jokes between good friends can now be misinterpreted and subject to actions.
"Near the knuckle" hacks are off limits - infantalising participants.
The (fairly UK specific) beery culture is suppressed - making the whole event a lot less fun.

And yet, all of those are less alienating than not having a CoC. Without one, you're relying on the largess of the conference organisers to take complaints seriously. Without one, you are hoping that participants have naturally good behaviour. Without one, an organiser is failing to create a space which can get the best out of participants - it's hard to make a meaningful contribution while you're worried about being harassed, assaulted, or otherwise menaced.

I'm more than happy to go to a conference which alienates people who hurt my friends. Not just because I like my friends, but for selfish reasons too.

Conferences need people - a humongous diversity of people - if swathes of people are alienated, you end up with a stifling monoculture. I can't get good ideas if everyone around me has the same background, the same experiences, the same expectations of life.

When I attended Mobile World Congress, it seemed full of suit-wearing professionals having meetings and eating tapas. And strippers. And burlesque shows. And prostitutes.

It's hard to create an inclusive atmosphere when men are being trained to see women as little more than sexual decorations. I've seen first hand my highly-qualified female colleagues being treated as if they were little more glorified billboards. It's depressing, exclusionary, and - sadly - quite common.

We need to ensure that this sort of sexist, boorish, culture is transformed into something which attracts the best talent - not just those with the thickest skin.

Here's an excellent analogy from Maciej Cegłowski:

That's where we are. It's kinda hard to see what the problem is with smoky rooms when that's all you're used to. I got fed up with going out to the pub and coming back stinking of smoke - so I stopped going to smoky places. We've had a huge sea-change of public opinion in the UK, and I can be confident that when I go out I'm not giving myself lung-cancer.

It's the same for conferences. I'm sick of attending conferences which want to hijack my sexuality. I got bored of seeing a sea of white dudes pontificating from the stage. Nowadays, if I'm asked to speak I check out the diversity of the line up and, if it's pale/stale/male, I make sure to recommend some of my friends and colleagues who don't fit the "traditional" conference speaker role.

By getting a more representative view from the stage, we can begin to improve our industry.

As geeks, we sadly have to accept that not everyone in our community is cool. It sucks. But every community has to deal with malicious idiots.

But we have to grow up - and, ironically, drag grown-up conferences with us. I'm very happy to say that I won't be attending or speaking at events without a Code of Conduct, and I urge you to do the same.

You Mustn't Criticise The Status Quo At A Hackday

@edent — Mon, 28 Sep 2015 11:19:20 +0000

I was at a hackday recently. During one of the talks, a speaker from a small company made a fairly stinging criticism of a large tech firm. As it happened, one of the audience members was an employee of said behemoth and heckled the speaker. After the presenter told him to shut up, he spent the rest of the session snarkily subtweeting his objections to her arguments.

Geeks are people who run on dissent. We see the world is broken, refuse to accept it, and try to fix things. Then other geeks try to fix our mistakes, and then we fix theirs, until we either asymptotically climb towards perfection or tear the whole thing down and start again.

There's a peculiar type of geek however, like the chap I mentioned above, who is convinced about the purity of their vision. For those of us who haven't created world-changing software, this usually manifests as completely drinking a company's (or product's) kool-aid. These geeks can sing the company song, recite the company's 7 core principles, rattle off every stat about the most trivial of accomplishments, and can't stand to hear any criticism of their employer or industry.

Once a geek adopts a patriotic mindset, they become useless. They're just a "fan" - whether it's for Apple/Android/BlackBerry/ or Ruby/Python/PHP or Catan/Munchkin/Monopoly - their undying devotion makes them little more than a North Korean peon singing the praises of the Dear Leader. They mistake personal gratification for objective correctness.

This is poisonous - not just to the individual, but to our entire community. If you won't hear "this aspect of your product sucks" then you'll never be able to improve it.

I've been lucky enough to work in two big industries which get a fair amount of flack at technical conferences - Mobile Operators and Mobile Advertisers. I can safely say that at every hackday, conference, and BarCamp I've been to, I've attended a talk where someone has cursed my profession, slandered our behaviour, and - in some cases - personally blamed me for all the ills of the world!

Naturally, I became defensive. Who wouldn't?! Most people's sense of identity is predicated on the belief that they are one of the "goodies". When you tell them they work for someone evil, it directly challenges their ego. That produces a visceral reaction.

It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!
Upton Sinclair

If you find yourself reacting violently to criticism of your employer, favourite TV show, or lifestyle choice - you have a problem. A serious problem which blinds you to the harsh realities which govern our lives.

Make no mistake - every employer you work for is flawed. We all do bad things - and only sometimes accidentally. Every industry has its cess-pits, to pretend otherwise is foolish.

Even though the status quo may enrich us personally, that's no reason to leave it unchallenged.

So, back to me being told that "mobile operators are the scum of the earth and their employees are all jack-booted thugs who are simultaneously evil, incompetent, dastardly, and corrupt" (seriously - I have heard each of those statements verbatim from both conference speakers and attendees.)

I took the criticism on board. Where it was unjustified, I either ignored it or sought to privately correct the record. More interestingly, where it was justified, I sought to improve both myself and my industry. Isn't that what we want? To improve the world? How can we do that if we ignore and belittle those who criticise us?

Don't get me wrong, it's a painful process. That doesn't make it any less necessary. This may all sound a little "hair-shirted" - but I promise you that it's about more than masochism. Just as all software has bugs, so too do all people, companies, and products. You know what? Some bits of Linux are hard to use. Some Mobile Operator policies are dumb. My hair is ridiculously long. For a geek to say "my country, right or wrong" makes them little better than football hooligans.

Here's what I'm belatedly getting at. If you work at a large company, or in a powerful industry, you must listen to your critics. You don't have to believe everything they say about you, nor do you have to accept their arguments. But if you can't listen, you've lost. For everyone brave enough to stand on stage and voice their displeasure, there are many more silently nodding in agreement.

Most billion dollar Internet companies were started by a small team of people who looked around and said, "The status quo sucks! Lets fix it!" For a geek to turn around and say "No! You're wrong! Everything is perfect! You are the one who sucks!" is an abdication of common sense and courtesy.

Finally, if you work for a large corporation and find yourself loudly slagging off the upstarts who dare challenge your hegemony, please remember that - to the rest of us geeks - you look like you're scared. And that no one respects people who are punching down.

OpenTech 2011

@edent — Mon, 23 May 2011 13:31:08 +0000

Another year, another OpenTech. I found last year's OpenTech conference to be awe-inspiring. This year's was equally good.

This is a quick rundown of the sessions I attended that I found particularly interesting.

How can we win the Information Wars?

A roundup of what the Open Rights Group has been doing over the last year. Always good to hear from them. Interesting to learn about the tensions of being up against a company for some issues - yet supporting them in others. Good to see that they're still banging away at the digital civil liberties drum.

Ada Lovelace Day

Once again, Suw eloquently demonstrated the need to get more women interested in "tech" by promoting positive role models. The Finding Ada project runs an international event to help raise the profile of women in science, technology, engineering and maths.

Codifying sustainability

How can you trust what you read in a report?

The UN panel on climate change warning that Himalayan glaciers could melt to a fifth of current levels by 2035 is wildly inaccurate, an academic says.

J Graham Cogley, a professor at Ontario Trent University, says he believes the UN authors got the date from an earlier report wrong by more than 300 years.
He is astonished they "misread 2350 as 2035".
Source: BBC News

In the "good old days" we relied on footnotes which, imperfectly, lead us to the original research.

The AMEE project aims to provide an unimpeachable set of references for every claim - allowing you to track the providence of a quote, statistic, or datum. Vitally important.

Building Digital Culture for Free: Can the Hacker Ethic and Comons-Based Peer Production make a better world?

Bill Thompson is always an entertaining speaker. Here, he was discussing whether "hackers" have won the culture wars. You can buy The Hacker Ethic on Amazon (including Kindle). Very reasonably priced.

This raised two interesting questions.

How many deaths were caused by Gutenberg and, ultimately, did his invention help propagate his world view? In other words, is Open Source being turned against us?
Are our inventions too disruptive to find acceptance in the mainstream?

At times, the questions started to get a bit political - especially around the true definition of Open Source.

Fluffy and poisonous - Why UKuncut has worked and how you can help.

I've been reasonably impressed at how quickly UKuncut has gathered grass-roots support around what is, potentiall, a dull subject - tax avoidance. I doubt the trades-union would have been able to garner anything like the support we've seen for UKuncut.

But I question whether they have been all that effective. Vodafone's share price has risen dramatically and they are constantly among the top UK brands.

(As I stated at the start of my question, I'm an ex-Vodafone employee and a current Vodafone shareholder.)

The answer I got back was well thought out and - to my mind - very helpful in understanding their aims.

Essentially, causing mass economic disruption to a company isn't a great way to make them change their behaviour and is very tricky to accomplish in the long term. UKuncut are playing the long-game with a meme. Essentially, going around saying "Don't you think she looks tired?"

Watching the Press

I especially liked the demolition of the Winterval Myth

Outpost

This was Tim Ireland's idea to crowd-source fact-monitor all MPs. A fine and noble idea and very well presented.

My only concern is that it avoids becoming partisan. I don't care if Politician X is a socialist, capitalist, atheist, or church-goer. They shouldn't be attacked for that. They should be held to account for any dodgy-dealing, fact free agitating, and dishonest conduct. It'll be interesting to see how it develops.

QR Codes - easy access to data

My slot! Prior to the event, I was interviewed by Imperica. I spent the first half of the day sticking Avery labels with QR codes all over the building.

Video

Slides

https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/qr-codes-at-opentech-2011/8054740

Reaction

I'll let other people commentate on my presentation.

Overall

An amazing and inspiring day. The entry cost per participant was £5. I've paid a lot more for worse conferences. I was glad to see so many civil servants there - hopefully they're getting the message.

I'll leave the final words to James Cattell. This sums up exactly what OpenTech is all about.

Feminism in London - 2009

@edent — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:43:20 +0000

On Sunday, I attended the Feminism in London 2009 conference.

This Is What A Feminist Looks Like (AKA spot the odd one out)

The conference was inspiring, depressing, uplifting and infuriating in equal measures. That's probably a good thing. I'll briefly discuss some of the sessions I attended and also what I think the organisers could do better next year.

The Conference

Kate Smurthwaite expertly chaired proceedings and kept the event running to time. Not an easy task with several hundred people to shepherd. I found the talks by Beatrix Campbell and Susie Orbach very inspiring but was very conscious of the fact that many of the aspects of feminism they addressed did not directly affect me. There was no doubting the passion and ire that the speakers felt and they held the audience spell-bound. A few interesting titbits I picked up...

Labiaplasty is being "aggressively" marketed to young women. That's the surgical mutilation of the sex organs for cosmetic reasons.
Plastic surgery in general is specifically targeting young women and girls.
The rise of photoshopping models is creating a idealised body image which is literally impossible.
In 2006 the US spent $56 billion on education - it spent $100 billion on diet industry.
If dieting worked - you'd only have to do it once and the industry would go bankrupt.
For more discussion on body-image issues - visit AnyBody.

At the back of the hall were a pictures of amusing subvertising - that is sexist adverts which had been defaced.

Somewhat Strident has a set of stickers that you can use to "accessorise" any sexist material you find. Zazzle sell a "This is offensive to women" sticker which can be stuck on to any poster you find offensive.

"It's easy out here for a pimp" anti-porn slideshow

This was simple a slide show with a commentary - no time for Q&A. It was also quite US focused. The material was from Stop Porn Culture.

The first half was about the pornification of society - especially that targeted at children. There were audible gasps of horror at the "Hooters Girl (In Training)" t-shirt.

Is this suitable for kids?

Then there was the superb juxtaposition of these album covers. One from Tiffany the other from Shakira. Both aiming at similar demographics but separated by 20 years.

Tiffany Album from 1987

Shakira Album Cover

The essential point was that children are being groomed to believe that they are merely sexual objects. That the only way to happiness is hyper-masculinity - guns, girls, bling - for boys, or hyper femininity - guys, stripping, submissiveness - for girls.

The porn aspect - as in the deliberate watching of sex acts - only covered a small portion of the talk. It covered contemporary attitudes to pornography among young people, such as

"From what you've said, it sounds like your relationship is fulfilling otherwise, so it might be best to keep his porn-watching in perspective and to try deal with the feelings that come up as a result of your recent discovery." Gurl.com answer to "My Boyfriend's Into Porn"

And the way that pornography producers don't just try to feature younger and younger models - they also seek to attract a younger audience.

"[Playboy] knew that this would really appeal to the 20-something crowd," said Playboy spokeswoman Theresa Hennessey.

Given my former involvement with the porn industry, you will be unsurprised that I didn't agree with all the sentiments presented. However, it's very clear from watching modern music videos that women are usually presented as little more than sex-objects and men as all-powerful beings who can control women.

It may even be said that groups like the Pussycat Dolls are little more that strippers marketed at children.

I don't think that we need to protect children from their own sexuality - nor should we seek to regulate consenting adults' sexual urges. But I do find it very worrying how highly sexualised images are being used in the most mundane and inappropriate places.

What's Wrong With Prostitution?

I've never visited a prostitute. I've never known anyone who has gone - or admitted going - to a prostitute. My knowledge is, essentially, from Belle de Jour and Band of Gold. Presented by Rebecca Mott, Anna Travers and Denise Marshall of the Poppy Project. What I heard was distressing, uncomfortable and yet, somehow, filled with hope and optimism.

I've linked to their sites so you can read their words rather than my interpretation of them - but I'll summarise some of the points which came out of the Q&A.

"Prostitution isn't the oldest profession - agriculture is." Prostitution hasn't been going on for ever - it is not inevitable.
"Do a privileged minority of women prostitute oppress the vast majority who don't want to be involved?" There are a few, well educated women for whom prostitution is a choice. But their voices tend to drown out the vast minority for whom it is abuse. The case for prostitution is often skewed towards the minority at the incalculable expense of the majority.
Prostitution is rape. It is rape on an industrial scale. Too many left leaning / liberal groups ignore the mental, physical & sexual abuse of prostitutes. Instead they concentrate on the "liberty" to sell oneself.
The GMB have a union section specifically for sex workers. However, they allow pimps, brothel-keepers and other "abusers" to be member.
"Prostitutes don't need a union because prostitution isn't a job - it's abuse"
Prostitutes shouldn't be criminalised - paying for sex workers should be.
When Sweden criminalised paying for sex, their was a massive drop off in prostitute numbers.
New Zealand's legalised brothels have lead to a massive increase in trafficked women.

It's fair to say that this session did change my opinion. I'd previously been fairly blasé about sex workers. I'd assumed that it was a person's right to sell their body if they wished. But the reality of the massive scale of abuse has lifted the scales from my eyes somewhat.

As Rebecca Mott said (and I paraphrase) "You can't say that women choose prostitution. If you'd asked me, I would have told you I entered prostitution as a free choice and that I really enjoyed it. It was only after I was free that I realised what terrible abuse I had been through."

Poverty and motherhood: How society undervalues women's work 🔗

I'm not a mother and I have no intention of being one. That didn't stop the final two sessions of the day being inspiring.

Abi Moore from Pink Stinks was hugely entertaining and moving on the needs to prevent "pinkification" of women's culture. You can hear her on Woman's Hour.
"Early Learning Centre - teaching girls their place since 1974." Specifically in relation to their stifling lack of choice in girls' fancy dress.
The average age of a single mother giving birth is 31. Not, as the tabloids would have you believe, 14.
Less than 2% of new single mothers are teenagers.
"Women's rights do not come cheap - neither do women"
"Liberation does not look like Gok Wan!"

A full list of all speeches is available. The event was also videoed and, I hope, will be available later.

So, on to the inevitable critique of the day...

Organisation

This was one of the most well organised conferences that I've attended. Sessions ran to time, everyone was given a handout showing where and when each workshop would be, the PA was loud enough so everyone could hear. However, there were some traps that they - and many other organisers - fell into.

Queues

It's the nature of events that there will be queues - but there are actions you can take to mitigate your patrons' annoyance.

Tell people which queue is which. It's incredibly frustrating to get to the front of one queue only to be told you were in the wrong one and have to go to the back of another.
A simple sign or a few volunteers is enough to ensure people know where they are supposed to be.
Get everything done in one queue if possible. Rather than queue for a meal ticket and then queue for lunch, consider integrating the two queues or selling tickets directly to those standing around.

Dissent

There was a noticeable lack of dissenting opinion. I'm not talking about getting Richard Littlejohn in to abuse people, but having someone from Red Thread or the English Collective of Prostitutes in the prostitution section may have been interesting.

However, it wasn't billed as a debate - so it's a fairly minor quibble.

Audio Visual

I've never been to a conference where the AV equipment has worked flawlessly. FiL was better than most in that not too long was spent fiddling with microphones.

Make sure you have enough mics. If you don't, make sure your cables are long enough to reach all participants.
Do a dry run so you know your slides work.
Don't position anything between a projector and its screen unless you want to make shadow puppets.

Microphone Shadow

Payment

I was surprised that this was a paid-for event. After attending several free conferences / BarCamps, it's temping to think that every event should be free. Given that the hall was full to busting, it's obvious that a sub £5 ticket isn't a barrier for entry.

The event was sponsored by The Maypole Fund - although there was no overt sponsorship. No schwag, banners, leaflets etc. I wonder if getting a few more organisations to sponsor the even could have lowered the cost further or paid for lunch.

There were several stalls - such as those from The Fawcett Society and Pink Stinks - who were selling membership, books, giving out fliers. I'm not suggesting that they should be charged for exhibiting - but I wonder if, say, a Fair Trade chocolate stall would have been able to help fund the event.

Conclusion

Feminism isn't dead. It's not even resting. It is a living force with thousands of millions of women and men pushing forward for equality. We're in a better position than we were, but are a long way from where we want to be.

This is not what a post-feminist society looks like. Not yet.