With the news that the BBC are tendering for a new series of Doctor Who, I thought I'd write down what I want from the show. This is, to be fair, pure fan-service wankery with zero chance of being made. I've based it on the oft-made observation that Hollywood is obsessed with remaking successful films rather than trying to remake unsuccessful ones.
Do we really need another Spider-Man origin story? No. Do we need the umpteenth remake of "The Italian Job"? Boring! Why don't producers take a film which was nearly a hit and see if a better director, crew, and cast can make it into something magical?
Let's apply the same thinking to Doctor Who.
My pitch is simple - remake some of the original stories which were let down by shoddy effects, naff music, indifferent direction, and hammy acting. There are loads of great stories which are stretched too thin over six episodes with clunky cliffhangers. So let's give them a fresh lick of paint, trim each story down to two episodes, and give them modern direction0.
One story from each of the original Doctors' run. But here's the twist - there's a different actor playing The Doctor for each story! The Doctor's companion stays the same throughout. As the ~14 episodes play out, The Doctor gradually becomes aware that some malevolent force is compelling them to relive their previous adventures.
Very roughly, this is what I'd do:
- The Web Planet - with Patrick Stewart as The Doctor. Imagine proper CGI ants! Menoptra floating through the air! It's fair to say I disliked the original version, but it is easy to imagine how it could work.
- Fury From The Deep - with Miranda Hart. A fine story but with so-so delivery. The environmental angle would resonate well today.
- Invasion of the Dinosaurs - with Sean Pertwee. Look, who else are you going to get to play him? The original story is probably the epitome of shoddy FX work! Everyone loves dinosaurs and having them rampage around the UK (rather than a spaceship) would be thrilling.
- The Talons of Weng-Chiang - with Benedict Wong. Is it possible to rewrite this to be less racist? There's a great story to be told, but the original suffers from "yellowface".
- Earthshock - with Riz Ahmed. Time to get in a "classic baddie" with the Cybermen running rampage on a ship.
At this point, The Doctor realises who has been driving him through his past lives. Forcing him to confront his sins. Sending him mad through endless regenerations.
Adric.
Someone, or something, has resurrected Adric. His "noble sacrifice" was little more than a suicide attempt after the relentless bullying by The Doctor and his companions. Driven to vengeance, he is determined to keep The Doctor trapped in a never-ending cycle of death and destruction.
- The Twin Dilemma - with Michaela Coel. A hugely problematic and violent story. As The Doctor realises her companion is a villain, can she keep her reactions under control? Should she?
- Survival - with Alex Horne. The Doctor has to face not The Master but a furious Adric hellbent on purging the Universe of the Time Lords. All the strands of the previous stories come together in an epic climax.
Get J. Michael Straczynski to run the thing, a bunch of chiptune/electronica/glitch musicians to give each episode a unique sound, and - crucially - show it in autumn/winter. There's no point having scary sci-fi on when it is bright outside and people want to go out and play. This needs to be hug-your-mum-for-warmth-not-because-you're-scared TV.
Right, I'm off to the Beeb to deliver the pitch! TTFN.
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To be 100% clear, I know this is never going to happen. The BBC's tender document specifically says:
Iconic, established villains are a mainstay of the series over 60 years and we invite you to use them, but we will want to begin to get an understanding of the original characters, aliens and themes that producers wish to bring to the show and are keen not to be overly reliant on existing Doctor Who lore. We are looking for a new perspective that ensures Doctor Who remains relevant, surprising, brave and inspiring for both long-standing fans and new audiences.
9 thoughts on “My Pitch for the New Season of Doctor Who”
@blog Great ideas! What is interesting is that I always thought Benedict Wong would make a fine Doctor Who. ‘The Talons of Weng-Chiang’ is by far and away the most cringeworthy of all Doctor Who stories for any Asian to watch—especially as by then there were all manner of east Asian actors working in Britain. Even Don Houghton was married to Lim Pik-Sen so the writers (albeit former by the time T. B. was the Doctor) did have Asian connections they could have consulted.
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s0litaire
Personally, I'll line to see what Dean Devlin could do with the franchise. Got chops for both fantasy and sci-fi on a budget.
@blog A JMS version of The Web Planet? I personally would find that a doubly difficult watch, but the thing about Doctor Who is everyone like something different and I’m so dedicated to it now I’d have to watch it anyway. (And maybe it would be brilliant!)
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This would actually be brilliant
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I don't know old Who especially well, so I don't get all the references here, but I cannot express how much I love this idea, despite not knowing the originals.
I love this concept so much, especially the idea of getting to see such a range of actors take on the role for a short time each!
@Edent Not a great fan of Dr Who any more, but I'd watch that. Your idea is sufficiently different enough that I'd have a go at arguing it actually meets the snippet of document you quoted!
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@Edent absolutely love this pitch!
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@Edent Sorry, but Invasion of the Dinosaurs cannot be improved! I love the Chewits dinosaurs!
Go for Planet of the Spiders or The Time Monster instead.
Oh, and I laughed out loud when you revealed who the evil (mathematical) genius behind it all was. ⭐️
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“The Talents of Wayne Chance” - a Victorian music hall yellowface act (Wayne) learns a malevolent force is using the racist “sinister oriental” trope to scapegoat Limehouse’s Chinese community for horrific crimes, and with the Doctor’s help comes to realise and address his own complicity.
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