At a recent unconference on AI, someone introduced me to the story of a guy who'd tasked an LLM with writing a bedtime story for his daughter. It personalised the tale to include her favourite stuffed toy, whichever cartoon she was obsessing over, and a range of not-too-scary baddies.
And all I could think of was "don't you like your child?"
Your kid isn't a sophisticated media consumer who wants a three-act structure, b-plot, and Chekhov's gun. She just wants to spend time with her dad. She wants to see that he has noticed what she's interested in. She wants to know he cares.
This is the classic mistake made by tech-bros. The outcome might be the same, but not the intent.
Imagine that you were having a crappy day at work. You rant about it to your spouse and, when you get home, you discover they've cooked your favourite meal. Aren't they sweet! What a joy to have them in your life!
"My Agent automatically analyses all our chats. When it noticed your happiness score had dropped, it asked your agent what your favourite food was and then it used my pre-authorised credit card to order it."
Oh.
Having your mum's birthday noted in your calendar is probably sensible. Having an app to quickly buy flowers is convenient. Having an automated process which searches for the best deal on a bunch of roses in the week preceding her birthday - well that starts to feel like you're abdicating your filial duties. Having the agent scan her Facebook photos to make sure the bouquet matches her interior decor begins to feel creepy.
I'm sure agents will be good for lots of things. I'm happy to have a little robot buy books from my wishlist when they drop in price. I daresay I'll get used to my phone cheerfully telling me it noticed the trains are delayed and has booked a table at a local restaurant. Maybe an Agentic tutor will teach me a new language in a way that doesn't frustrate me.
But you can't outsource love.
It is often joked that the point of golf is to play as little golf as possible. Our relationships with each other aren't a series of transactions to be completed as efficiently as possible. We want to be reassured that our loved ones put effort into maintaining a relationship.
5 thoughts on “Agentic AI is brilliant because I loath my family”
Some people will go to truly extraordinary lengths to avoid emotional labor. Mostly men, from what I've noticed. But I'm misandrist and i already believed that.
@blog
| Reply to original comment on tech.lgbt
@Edent I don’t disagree that some will use these tools in ways that are thoughtless and uncaring. But I don’t find it is fair to draw conclusions on intent, to know what is in someone’s heart, based on their use (or avoidance) of AI technologies. They may express their love differently than I would, make less effort on things I believe are essential to healthy relationships. But that doesn’t mean their hearts are filled with any less love than mine.
| Reply to original comment on mastodon.social
@edbilodeau @Edent It's a lot more effort than a lot of parents show.
This guy seems to be assuming that because he had it write the story he's also having it read it to her so he doesn't have to.
But he was all, "...all I could think was...," during the conversation so...WHATEVER.
I'm sure that when this guy is reading that story the AI wrote to his daughter, this guys moral judgment of that act is TOP on his mind.
| Reply to original comment on mastodon.social
@Edent Probably better stories than the "Adventures of George Wendt" i struggled to invent nightly for my beautiful child.😜
| Reply to original comment on mastodon.world
Pavel Lishin
Reminds me of this bit from Snow Crash:
More comments on Mastodon.