Drinking Champagne with the Secretary of State

This is a retropost. Written contemporaneously in February 2019, but published much later.

My life is weird. Again.

Looking out over London from the top floor. The Eye is glittering and the Palace of Westminster is glowing.

Someone pours me a glass of (very expensive⁰) champagne, as the Secretary of State laughs at my witty bon mot.

Is this my life now? People of distinction and influence listening to what I have to say? It isn't an oak-panelled room, with deep armchairs, where cigar-smoking men carve up the world. It's a modest and plain office where men (and women!) have gathered for a bit of mutual backslapping. But I am here. I'm in the room and being thanked.

And why not! We've all worked hard on launching NHSX and are rewarded with a little audience. The chit-chat is awkward - despite the geniality, we're all aware that the boss is here.

Naturally, I believe someone is going to tap me on the shoulder and ask me what the hell I think I'm doing in a room full of proper grown-ups. But, no, people keep asking me questions and telling me their well-practiced anecdotes.

It is simultaneously amazing and banal. I've been at this work-party several times in my career, with dozens of companies, with a parade of CEOs. This feels different. A tiny glimmer of "I've made it a difference!"

I eat my fill of crisps - I am driving later - and slip out. I want to savour the moment, but know too well the perils of outstaying my welcome. I float all the way home.

Proximity to power is a powerful glamour. I understand why some are drawn to it, and some are seemingly addicted.

But I'll be different, I'm sure, as I bask in the experience.