A list of incredible BlockChain innovations which I would like funding for please
Dear the venture capitalists. I am a very charming white man and am prepared to drop out of university if you'll invest in these ideas.
In the future, all your clothes are an NFT.
"Wow! I love your blouse."
"Thanks, here's a smart contract showing where I purchased it from. If you buy one, I get 10% of the sale price back in WoolworthsCoin."
Applause Tokens™.
A smart monitor under your theatre seat detects how long (and how loud) you applaud for.
Remember, the more enthusiastic you are about this middle-school production of Annie, the more tokens you earn!
Geneticoin
By storing your frozen sperm or eggs in our BYOG-Bank®, you're investing in your future!
Anyone who has a child using your genetic material signs an irrevocable smart contract which entitles you to 1% of the progeny's lifetime earnings.
More donations means more money!
KindleCoin
With KindleCoin, a Basic-Attention-Token derivative, you only pay for good books. Didn't finish reading the latest Dan Brown novel? Only pay for the pages you enjoy!
WARNING! Leaving your eReader unlocked could result in an attacker flipping through Dostoevsky; costing £££
Book-NFT
With this new Literature-based NFT, you can bring your most beloved characters into your favourite books!
Unlocked Willy Wonka by buying some Roald Dahl? Wonka can now appear in Game of Thrones!
DateCoin©
Welcome to a REVOLUTION in online dating.
Before meeting up on a date, both parties sign a smart contract. If either bails on the date, or doesn't look like their profile photo, or fails to put out, their stake is forfeited to the other party.
BoomBoomBucks
By placing noise monitors in every house, we are democratising annoyance.
Want to play some banging techno at 3AM? No worries!
Your neighbours can set a price on being annoyed and automatically charge you for waking them up.
⚡️coin
Let's embed a tiny Blockchain processor in all your electronics. Want to charge the battery in your PS5 controller? It's FREE this weekend!
(As long as the ⚡️coin chain doesn't detect you charging an Xbox controller. In which case the price is doubled.)
No More Train Delays
Train delayed on the way to work? Not a problem!
Your employer can bid on prioritising your train based on the economic value your delay is costing them.
By automatically monitoring your movements at all times, ChooChooCoin incentivises faster repairs to the train network.
Prevent diamond theft
Stolen a bag full of diamonds from an highly protected safe in a daring raid involving lasers, an electronics expert, and an old lag looking for one last score?
Joke's on you! Those diamonds are associated with an NFT which you didn't steal!
Enjoy your sparky stones, idiots!
TrafiqueTokens
No more waiting at 🚦! Your Tesla will automatically bid up to your specified limit to override a red light.
Remember, the value of TrafiqueTokens may enter negative territory and you could be stuck behind a Skoda for the next 6 hours.
PrayerPoints
An exciting new soul-bound token which you can earn for acts of worship and devotion. The more spiritual you are, the more the points accumulate.
You can exchange these points to get out of minor sins.
A group of friends can pool their points to redeem against a major sin!
Dietary Dinar.
Imagine you're a vegetarian who has a craving for steak. Collateralise all your veggie-pesos to exchange with someone's carnivore-bolívars.
You eat their steak, they eat your salad. Karma neutral! Sadly the coin exchange takes a few hundred kWh, so not carbon-neutral.
Voice Coinz
This means an end to spam calls!
Set a smart contract price on calls and texts to your phone number. If a legitimate call comes through, waive the charges. If it's spam - make 'em pay!
(Huh, that might actually be a good one...)
NO YOU SHUT UP
MeetingCoin. A non-rivalrous smart-attention coin which ensures that Gavin from accounts doesn't speak over Michelle who actually knows what the meeting is all about.
Probably sends electric shocks if you waffle on too long. Voltage based on number of votes.
Pest Control Smart Contracts
We have a pretty huge pest control problem. Imagine if exterminators could be paid exclusively in crypto for every vermin they destroy?
For every snake head you present to us, we will mine you one RajCoin.
No, I've never read a history book. Why do you ask?
Basic Love Token
If every marriage was a smart contract, your could rent out your spouse to other people who wanted them.
Imaging being able to seamlessly transfer marriage obligations as simply as you rent a DVD from Netflix.
All of the advantages, none of the obligations!
🐼🪙
There are only 1,800 pandas left in the wild 😢
We have minted a unique "Hunting Permit NFT" for each of them. The coins are pegged to the price of ETH.
If conservationists want to save these cute bears, they can chose to outbid the hunters.
Distributed Proof Of Kill.
BugCoin
Annoyed by bugs in your code?
Blockchain solves this.
A smart contract will prevent you from committing anything which crashes by determining whether or not your program will eventually halt.
And so on
If you have any other billion dollar ideas - please leave a comment. We'll split the profits 50:50.
Daniel Appelquist said on mastodon.social:
@Edent I would seriously invest in MeetingCoin. 😂 I'm sure there are pitch decks being written for these ideas as we speak.
James Smith 💾 says:
@blog 2024 bingo card, this is. Also, love the subtle halting problem joke 😅
Michael Klein said on social.vivaldi.net:
@Edent I suggest TakingThePissCoin for... you know
Steve said on mastodon.org.uk:
@Edent Hmm, some of those have potential. Of course people were 'buying' stars and Moon craters long before blockchain. Having a verifiable ledger can be useful, but it doesn't solve every problem by any stretch.
DistinctiveCoffee said on distinctive.coffee:
The noise that I made when I saw this title. A list of incredible BlockChain innovations which I would like funding for please Honestly though,…
Ivan says:
I think that Manifold Markets actually launched a dating prediction market at https://manifold.love/, which is not exactly DateCoin©, but seems pretty close (anyone can bet on the success of a given couple, and it gives a plausibly deniable way to approach a potential partner by betting for yourself). The only thing left is a way to convert between their (currently) play-money and cryptocurrencies (which is what some other prediction markets do).
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