Book Review: It's Not About the Burqa - Mariam Khan

Much like "Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race" this is a book that's a little tricky for me - a white apathist man - to review.

I'll cheerfully admit that I don't get religion - any religion. And I doubly don't get why people tie themselves to a religion which seems to persecute them. As I read on, I was surprised to discover just how much I agreed with some of these thoughtful essays.

I think women should be able to wear whatever they want. Telling women they must strip if they want to be on the beach is as morally indefensible as telling them they have to cover themselves when breast-feeding an infant. People - men especially - have no right to tell women what to wear. If people choose to wear a head-covering, get tatto'd, or refrain from eating certain things - it's no business of mine. Some of those religious requirements are always going to seem a little strange to people who didn't grow up with that culture.

One author described her hijab as her "armour" - that's a sentiment I've heard before from some of my Muslim friends. Everyone sometimes needs a shield or refuge from the world. Or a way to show solidarity with their community. And, let's be honest, the only difference between a hijab and a nun's wimple is the religion of the wearer.

There were a few aspects I found challenging. Take these three quotes - from different authors - which all spoke to a common theme:

"I grew up in a Muslim community whose cultural understanding of Islam denied equality of the sexes and rarely left room for female voices, let alone female empowerment."

"I knew that the way women and girls were treated in Saudi Arabia was wrong and that this was not the Islam I was taught"

"[...] deeply problematic patriarchal and misogynistic views of marriage as a means of control – the exact opposite of what Islam teaches"

They left me asking where this misogyny comes from? How can so many people read a religious text and receive the opposite message from each other? It baffles my brain. Of course, mainstream Christianity is also in a current struggle to accept women as equals. And, again, you rarely see mainstream UK publications tackling discrimination in other religions.

Nevertheless, I found it to be an enlightening book - but I think it suffers from two small flaws. The first is that, by its nature, it is written by "outspoken" women. Where are the essays by women who are less ambitious, or those who prefer to be submissive? Secondly, it really focusses on fashion. I get that sartorial matters are part of its purview - but it rarely talks about, say, Muslim Women in Tech. There's a rich seam of stories there as evidenced by groups like Muslamic Makers.

The major thing which sent my head spinning was just how contradictory the book can be - even within the same essay. For example, one writer calls out the problem that "‘freedom to choose’ is limited to making the right kind of choices" which correctly identifies that society often imposes a boundary of acceptability and woe-betide anyone who finds themselves outside it. And yet, a few paragraphs later, she delivers a stinging rebuke to FEMEN for staging a topless protest as "an example of women’s rights and demands being mobilized as part of the sustained attack against the Muslim community".

All cultures have different boundaries. There will always be friction when they have contradictory norms. The book makes a somewhat convincing case that modern Islam is as compatible with feminism as most other mainstream religions. And it is compelling that, for lots of women, their religious expression is their personal choice.

I'll leave you with my favourite quote from the book:

We must cultivate compassion for our past selves, trusting that we did the best we could at the time, while simultaneously striving to do better.

A sentiment I hope we can all embody.