Here's a quick summary of the film:
"I AM ACTING!"
"YEAH! WELL I AM ACTING LOUDER THAN YOU!"
"OH? REALLY? JUST LOOK HOW GOOD I'M ACTING!"
It's a relentless argument between two gormless gargoyles. Yes, the director is very clever in using lots of long and unedited shots. And, gosh, isn't the aspect ratio quirky?! Hey, isn't that... you know... the actor from the thing...?
And literally all that happens is that horrible people scream at each other. It's not a movie, it's a bloodless torture session. I get that there may be something grimly satisfactory about watching rich arseholes make the same sort of mistakes that normal people do - but it feels like an over-long and trashy episode of Jerry Springer.
I realise I'm in a minority here - but if Scarlett Johansson wanted to divorce me and take away an annoying brat, I'd probably pay her air-fare and lock the doors.
I feel soiled from having watched it.