An underwhelming break in lockdown


I don't often blog about my feelings. Mostly because I find them confusing. Three weeks after our first vaccination jab, my wife and I broke our lockdown to go on a date.

In the last 15 months we've left the house a few times for doctor's appointments, a couple of visits to the post office, some brief walks round the park, and that's about it. Nothing social, nothing fun.

We thought it would be a good idea to ease ourselves gently back into the world. Going for a "big bang" of a full night of fine dining, theatre, and clubbing until dawn was bound to be overwhelming.

So we booked a table at our local chain pub. It basically only sells mass-market lager and generic cider - but has a decent selection of vegan food and a good gin menu. We ordered using their mobile website - and I was briefly elated. This could be the future. No queuing at a sticky bar trying to get someone's attention. No patiently trying to explain what you wanted over the sound of a overdriven jukebox. I know this isn't new tech - but it was great to see it work so well.

The food came and it was... well, it wasn't crap. Defrosted and deep fried means it is hard to go wrong. It was all entirely average. And I felt... nothing.

Sure, I was annoyed at the family next to us. They spent the evening playing the fun game of "let's fill our kids up with fizzy drinks, chase them all over the garden, then get annoyed when they get over-excited." I didn't feel frightened of being around other people, I was just irritable that I couldn't turn down their volume.

Was it nice being out of the house? I guess. Being sat in a beer garden isn't too different from being sat in our garden with a beer. The outside world has a crap selection of overpriced drinks and indifferent service.

I was expecting some mild agoraphobia. Or perhaps a touch of over-excitement. It was good we'd chosen something deliberately a bit crap - because I think I might have been heartbroken if I thought I'd feel joy, but felt jaded. Instead it was... hard to say. Mildly pleasant?

My dessert came out and it wasn't what I ordered. I felt... pity, I think. The hospitality industry is close to ruin - surely a business should be pulling out all the stops to get everything right? This place is going to rely on returning trade and they're just half-arsing it. I wasn't expecting silver-service - or absolute deference - just basic competence.

It was nice not being in front of the TV. And it is always delightful when someone else does the washing-up. But these aren't things which usually stress or upset me.

I think we made the right choice. It was an adequate night out. We had low expectations and they were met. I'm happy that I didn't freak out after being outside for more than 5 minutes. And I'm glad that I can do basic social interactions. It was deliberately underwhelming. And, I think, that made me a little sad. I hoped to feel something significant.

I read an interesting post on AskUK a few weeks ago - "Can anyone else just not be arsed with doing anything even though it's opening back up?" and it resonated with me. I want to see my friends again - but I'm worried I'm going to resent being trapped in a rotten pub. I want to go and eat all the food that I can't cook at home - but I don't want to waste money on a disappointing experience. I want to explore - but know that I long for my own sofa and own bed.

So, I suppose the major thing I felt was worry. I'm worried that I'm a bit too comfortable with this lockdown life. I've found it all rather agreeable, and that could spell trouble in the future.

Interesting times ahead.


Share this post on…

3 thoughts on “An underwhelming break in lockdown”

  1. I feel the same... I ventured out to collect a takeaway curry last week: our first tentative step of rehabilitation. Going through the collection process brought back happy memories from... 15 months ago (!), but overall... a bit oily


    Reply
  2. Sava D. says:

    that's how it was me for all my life 🤷
    not agoraphobic or anything, not actually -phobic at all, just always hated public places and especially eating in public.
    and that's a good life, truly, I just have a whole lot of other favorite activities, that's all 🤗
    it's just so uncannily funny to see the world mirror me now. strange times.

    Reply

What are your reckons?

All comments are moderated and may not be published immediately. Your email address will not be published.Allowed HTML: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong> <p> <pre> <br> <img src="" alt="" title="" srcset="">