Top 10 reasons to attend an all-male event
There's been lots of talk recently of the dearth of women attending technical conferences. This problem is blown out of all proportion! There are many excellent reasons to attend an all-male tech event:
- Reduced chance of having an affair while away on business
- ⚤ Hetrosexuals only!
- Won't accidentally mistake a CEO for a cocktail waitress
- 💁🍸 embarrassing!
- Excellent networking opportunities in the long queue for the men's toilets 🚽🚹
- ⚣ Possible risk of inadvertent homosexuality!
- Impossible to sexually harass people who aren't there
- 📵 Still possible via social media though! 🤳
- Getting blind drunk and pissing in a public fountain is unlikely to upset anyone of a delicate constitution
- Watch out for lady-policemen! 👮♀️
- No distracting breasts. Dudes never say "My eyes are up here!"
- Pectoral muscles should be admired, obviously! 🏋️♂️
- "Guys" is a perfectly acceptable term for a group of people.
- Goes double if any of them are actually named "Guy"! 🤼♂️
- The strippers you oggle at a supplier's exhibition booth don't have an intimidating amount of technical knowledge
- Do double check they're not spies though! 👯♀️🕵️
- All the t-shirt shwag will be properly sized for your manly body
- Although you won't be able to bring one home for the missus! 👕
- Chaps are just better!
- ♂️♂️♂️
Look, do I need to spell out that this is satire? Well, it would be, if it weren't so terrifyingly real.
Yeah I can say this is a thing I expect now, which is sad! It sucks to go to tech conferences as a lady knowing someone, somewhere is going to hit on me. I'm just here for the technical information, dude.
— Sarah (@fevered) November 7, 2018
This. I’ve been mistaken for a waitress at a conference. (In which I gave a plenary talk.) https://t.co/4lhH2yKL6m
— ProfDr Kay Kirkpatrick🥄 (@kay314159) February 11, 2018
One of the few upsides of being a woman at a Tech conference is that during breaks there is never a queue for the toilets..
— Faintdreams (@faintdreams) September 6, 2018
Hey guy friends, I just want to say that if you came onto a woman at a conference and it was not welcome, you owe her an apology. I have so many bad memories of this happening to me again and again in my 30's that now I'm in my 40's I still hold a grudge. I hope you all grew up.
— phoenix perry (@phoenixperry) September 24, 2018
My mum was once described as a "lady policeman". And my ex, a charge nurse was once described as a "make sister" 😂😂😂
— Justine 🏴🦄🐴 (@poorponyowner) October 19, 2017
To men who splain me on how „guys” is gender neutral while purchasing a ticket to my conference—I will gladly void your ticket. Bye.
— fantastic ms. (@fox) February 8, 2018
@i4_1 The number of times I've been to a tech conference and found I'm the only woman there who isn't a 'booth babe' is truly depressing
— Charlotte Jee (@charlottejee) September 13, 2013
I've decided I'm not taking shirts from conferences anymore unless they're women's fit. This "unisex" crap is terrible if you have boobs.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) August 26, 2011
The conference had at least 30% men, I don't think they can be criticized for the gender representation. They just picked the best speakers the had available based on merit.
The guys were great, too. I won't hear any arguments that including them was tokenism.
— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 6, 2018