Top 10 reasons to attend an all-male event

There's been lots of talk recently of the dearth of women attending technical conferences. This problem is blown out of all proportion! There are many excellent reasons to attend an all-male tech event:

1. Reduced chance of having an affair while away on business
   • ⚤ Hetrosexuals only!
2. Won't accidentally mistake a CEO for a cocktail waitress
   • 💁🍸 embarrassing!
3. Excellent networking opportunities in the long queue for the men's toilets 🚽🚹
   • ⚣ Possible risk of inadvertent homosexuality!
4. Impossible to sexually harass people who aren't there
   • 📵 Still possible via social media though! 🤳
5. Getting blind drunk and pissing in a public fountain is unlikely to upset anyone of a delicate constitution
   • Watch out for lady-policemen! 👮‍♀️
6. No distracting breasts. Dudes never say "My eyes are up here!"
   • Pectoral muscles should be admired, obviously! 🏋️‍♂️
7. "Guys" is a perfectly acceptable term for a group of people.
   • Goes double if any of them are actually named "Guy"! 🤼‍♂️
8. The strippers you oggle at a supplier's exhibition booth don't have an intimidating amount of technical knowledge
   • Do double check they're not spies though! 👯‍♀️🕵️
9. All the t-shirt shwag will be properly sized for your manly body
   • Although you won't be able to bring one home for the missus! 👕
10. Chaps are just better!
    • ♂️♂️♂️

Look, do I need to spell out that this is satire? Well, it would be, if it weren't so terrifyingly real.

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Morten Rand-Hendriksen is elsewhere

@mor10

Replying to @mor10"I always get drunk people hitting on me at after parties. It's incredibly uncomfortable. I'm there to network, not hook up."

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Sarah

@fevered

Replying to @mor10@mor10 Yeah I can say this is a thing I expect now, which is sad! It sucks to go to tech conferences as a lady knowing someone, somewhere is going to hit on me. I'm just here for the technical information, dude.

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Kay L. Kirkpatrick

@kay314159

This. I’ve been mistaken for a waitress at a conference. (In which I gave a plenary talk.) x.com/laura_boykin/s…

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Faintdreams

@faintdreams

One of the few upsides of being a woman at a Tech conference is that during breaks there is never a queue for the toilets..

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Phoenix Perry

@phoenixperry

Hey guy friends, I just want to say that if you came onto a woman at a conference and it was not welcome, you owe her an apology. I have so many bad memories of this happening to me again and again in my 30's that now I'm in my 40's I still hold a grudge. I hope you all grew up.

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manwhohasitall

@manwhohasitall

"I'm not hung up on being called a 'firewoman' because I know it covers both women and men." Sam, male firewoman #FirefightingSexism

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MotherOfAdults🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🦄🐴

@poorponyowner

Replying to @manwhohasitall@manwhohasitall @caitlinmoran My mum was once described as a "lady policeman". And my ex, a charge nurse was once described as a "make sister" 😂😂😂

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To men who splain me on how „guys” is gender neutral while purchasing a ticket to my conference—I will gladly void your ticket. Bye. Fantastic Ms Fox

Charlotte Jee

@charlottejee

@i4_1 The number of times I've been to a tech conference and found I'm the only woman there who isn't a 'booth babe' is truly depressing

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ashe dryden

@ashedryden

I've decided I'm not taking shirts from conferences anymore unless they're women's fit. This "unisex" crap is terrible if you have boobs.

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