Having recently moved house, I have become very aware of which companies have modern back end systems.
The most top-notch ones let me log on to their website, fill in a form, and all the address changes are made.
A few required me to ring up and speak to a human being, which was a little annoying, but not the end of the world.
Only one company insisted that I write them a letter. Co-Op Business Banking. Despite having a moderately competent website, they couldn't process a change of address online. Their phone staff were equally insistent that I buy a stamp, find a post box, and make one of their minimum-wage staff copy-type my details in manually.
Forget that noise. This is what I sent them.
![My most dear and excellent Bank Manager, Regarding my business banking account with your fine institution, hereby known by Sort Code: [Redacted] and Account Number: [Redacted] I wish to change the registered address of my business bank account. I made contact with your staff via Mr Graham Bells most excellent telephonic invention. Alas, they informed me that your systems are stuck in an antiquated mode of operation and are therefore unable to perform a simple transaction via voice command. I enquired as to whether it would be possible to use Sir Tim Berners-Lees most amazing Web of Worldwide Wonders - yet that too seems a stretch too far for your humble banking operation. I rummaged around in my time machine and found access to a working fax. Sadly you will not take instruction from an electronic facsimile. Therefore I am writing to you a physical letter to ask that I might be allowed the simple pleasure of having my correspondence with you sent to the following address. [Redacted] Road The City of Oxford The County of Oxfordshire Postal Code [Redacted] Her Majesty's United Kingdom I hope this letter find you well and that the unfortunate business with the Methodist chap has been cleared up. I remain your faithful - if somewhat annoyed - servant. Mr Terence Samuel Eden, the proprietor of the company known as... Shkspr Ltd which is Registered with Companies House as company number: 07332672](https://shkspr.mobi/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Co-op-fs8.png)
Oh, and I copy-and-pasted a scan of my signature. Because that proves it's me. Right?
They didn't write back, but they did change my address. Which was nice.
One thought on “Passive Aggressive Trolling Co-Op Business Banking”
Nonconformistradical
Love it! I have a Smile a/c which is meant to be internet only - that does seem to have a facility to change one's address (never actually tried to use it). What does annoy me is their insistence on sending a paper letter confirmation (rather than an onlne secure message) whenever I transfer - as I do from time to time - a relatively small amount of money to an overseas account.
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