“A male software developer may never consider that a user would want or need to change their name. Thus they would design a product which ignored the millions of women changing their names after marriage.”

I don’t know if you wrote that intentionally to reinforce your point about people making “unconscious assumptions” about the world, but I feel you should address the fact that many men change their surnames when they are married and many women keep their own surnames. That’s sexism, not just an unconscious assumption.