Please, read this:

The fault is not Android! It's developers that does not want to update their apps.

Since ICS the menu button will ALWAYS come in the ActionBar, at the top right.

By default, if this behaviour is not implemented, the menu button cannot appear magically in an app, so it appear in the "button bar"

So: If the menu is not in the top right, contact the dev and ask him to update is app.