They've just announced a new app store - Ovi Store.  This is to replace the broken mess that is Mosh, N-Gage, Download and the current Ovi.  Why do I get the feeling that there are several fiefdoms within Nokia all working against one and other rather than working together?

So, let's take a look at the new service.

Nokia Ovi Store - Wow!

Wow... just wow. A blank page. Not even a "coming soon" message.  Lest you think I'm using some kind of shonky phone, I'm on a Nokia N95 8GB, firmware 20.0.016, in rather good HSDPA coverage.

You're supposed to be able to get to Ovi via the "Download!" application. I don't think I've used "Download!" since I first got the phone. On the surface it's a nice little App Store. If Nokia given it some love and attention, it would have got the recognition it deserved as the first integrated app store. As it is, it was left to die.

...please wait...

After 5 minutes of waiting for the "Download!" store to finish "Processing" I got bored. After 15 minutes nothing more had happened so I tried to cancel. Turns out you can't, so I rebooted the phone.

Never mind! I'll try going through the regular Ovi site.

Can you spot the store link?

No link to their brand new store. Hmmm.... odd.... Maybe I have to sign in to see it. Yes, that sounds plausible.

This isn't looking good...

Ok, a dodgy certificate isn't the worst error in the world. It's one of those things that says "We haven't tested our site and we really don't care if scary error messages put off our customers."

In any case, the sign in service doesn't work.

Ovi Error

Ah... Well, let's try again...

It just gets better and better

Right. So the site has no links and it doesn't work. Perhaps I imagined the Ovi Store launch? Let's check the Internet Oracle that is Google...

There's something there...

Google has found it! It must be there. Ok, so there's still a dodgy certificate - but I can't wait to start spending money with Nokia! Here we go!

Oh. Just another blank page.

So, there you have it, folks. The word "FAIL!" is overused, I feel. How about we agree to replace it with "NOKIA!"?